#I could go into a massive rant about what happened and if it was objectively good or bad

[foxgirlintestines]

I am just imagining Nadu flying into the Twin Towers with Crypt and Lotus on top of them and Dockside Extortionist being crushed by falling rubble. What a beautiful world.

Quick info to all the people that dont play magic the gathering: 9/11 for mtg players just happened

[spro-o]

okay, so,,, i got back to reading 4kota, and i have so many thoughts of literally every nature

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR 4KOTA, NATURALLY!

okay so, allow me to rant a lil

bro why the actual fuck is Arthur just magical hitler now?? 😭 like hello???? it genuinely makes me really sad because he was such a sweet and likable character for most of 7ds and now he wants to create an ethnostate for humans only???? it just breaks my heart, man

SAME WITH JERICHO LIKE HELLO? QUEEN, YOURE BETTER THAN THIS. genuinely tho- nakaba try not to make all your characters pedos challenge (impossible). there are literally so many other ways in which Jericho could have ended up in a similar situation, but nakaba really just chose pedophilia? it couldve been something along the same lines just without the romantic attraction!! a family bond can be just as strong- and it couldve been something like her losing Lancelot or in some other way letting him down, and then thinking that he despises her and holds onto that grudge (which, judging his character it wouldve probably been a small spat that he got over) - but maybe Jericho didnt understand that, or wasnt ready to face him, expecting him to be livid - so she asked for an alternative reality where that didnt happen and they got along great as sister/brother or master/trainee. i wouldnt put Jericho past being so stubborn that she wouldnt believe when Lance would say that he forgave her, and then boom!! same set-up, just without the nasty pedophilia!!

ON THE NOTE OF WHICH- (theres so much of that garbage in nakaba's writing, fucks sake) - i genuinely hate the whole thing happening with Guinevere. the whole non-consensual kiss from a 12 year old to a 16 year old (ewwwww) is one thing, but then when Lance is reflecting on that interaction and he SMILES????

you have no idea how much this panel killed me to see. Lancelot youre better than this,,,, 4 years is not a big age difference when youre in your 30's, but when youre 16???? please,,,, cmon now,,,

speaking of whommmmm~~ ,,, I ADORE LANCELOT!! SO MUCH!! this is to be expected considering i love Ban, bUT- hes genuinely just such a cool and wonderful character that has some sense in him. i especially loved those panels where he was like jumping around to get himself hyped up cuz like!! Ban does that!!!! i love,,,,

elizabeth (looking gorge btw, i love that for her) is unfortunately reduced to an object of fondling yet again 😔 literally like the second panel that shes in and shes getting grabbed and groped by Meliodas?? it just feels mad disrespectful to her really deep character that she has such a minor role when you ignore her being sexualised by Mel (in reality nakaba, but i digest)

i love that panel where Anne tells Isolde about what chastity actually is hbghjnhbjh

I FEEL SO BAD FOR NASIENS WHEN PERCY IS ALL UP IN ANNES BOOBS. genuinely- the dropped bag, and all of he blushing that happened before it during their interactions,,,, that shit broke my heart, man

nakaba try not to draw teenagers naked challenge (impossible) (chapter 86 cover)

this is literally like the cutest fucking thing ever????? i want more calm, slice of life stuff for our skrunglies. they deserve a break

someone, please, stop all this shit going on with Guinevere (writing this while reading chp 87) – I really despise the fact that nakaba has to make like literally all of the relationships either look like they have a massive age gap (Ban and Elaine), or actually have a fucking criminal age gap (Mel and Ellie). it really is not that difficult to just write a relationship where there is a <2 year age gap, did you know that, nakaba?? crazy, I know (deadass, while I don’t ship them, it would at least be bearable if she was also like 15-16, just not 12 TT)

chion is such a fucking pain in the ass oh mah gahhhhhh

I love Gawain’s lesbian antics <3

At this point, though I love seeing the characters interact in more casua circumstances, id rather have more fight scenes than god awful, shoe-horned romances between any two characters of the opposite gender (exceptions being Nasiens and Gawain, my sillies <3)

okay,,, thats it for now, but do expect more at some point or another huiyuvghbijhb

[zelphin124]

Autumn x YN Short Story

Someone paid me 10 dollars for this.  So I’m writing to you simps once more!  I think that’s a reasonable price for shorter stories: 10 dollars… Writer's block has hit hard, but here it is. Onto the story!  TW: Blood

~o0o~

The sword wavered in your hand, falling from the weight and slicing your palm open. You fall to the ground, letting out a cry of pain as you grasp your hand. You weren’t expecting the practice dummies to be so good. Perhaps you forgot to turn the difficulty down. 

Your cry echoed through the training grounds in the fortress. It was hard to observe your surroundings while your hand bled. However, you didn’t have enough time to process everything before the dummy continued to swing its sword at you. 

Until a gaster blaster disintegrated it. 

With your blurry vision, you glanced behind you to see where the shot came from. You sigh in relief as the red gremlin walks toward you. 

You stumbled upon SeasonTale two months ago. Cold, disoriented, and starved, the Season Sanses didn’t hesitate to take you in and nurture you back to health. You decided to stay longer than expected so they could help you with your fighting skills. Despite the other options, you chose to stick with the swords as your primary weapon, which resulted in Autumn being your trainer. He wasn’t the nicest, nor was he patient. However, he was forgiving and determined, something that you sought after. 

However, he has acted strangely around you over the past week. He would often look away from you, put up his mask, or shout randomly for you to get away when you did nothing wrong and wanted to help him. Summer explained that he was just being a gremlin as usual, but Spring wasn’t so sure. Now, it felt like all the brothers were keeping a secret from you—Autumn especially, which he didn’t seem like he was going to share anytime soon. 

This caught you off guard, especially because Autumn is the most open about his feelings and past. Perhaps something happened, and he was still processing it. 

Thankfully, you had a little bit more patience than him. 

“The hell are you doing?!” Autumn’s shout broke your train of thought. He glared at you as he crossed his arms, looking you up and down… usually, he would just look up due to his short height. You learned quickly not to make fun of his height… along with his dead name, Fall, and his fear of cats. 

You couldn’t respond coherently as your hand stung from the cold. You figured your hand would numb soon from the snow that flew into the training grounds. The fortress was massive, and this room and the stables were the only rooms that weren’t heated. 

Before you could object, Autumn grabbed your hand and observed it. He rolled his eyes. “My gosh, you’re going to hurt yourself…” 

You knew you weren’t supposed to use the dummies alone yet, mainly because they didn’t train you with them. You didn’t think they would continue to fight even after you were done. Granted, you disobeyed orders and probably deserved it. But the determination to impress Autumn was even more significant. 

You heard a loud tear. You glanced at the red-dressed skeleton to see he ripped part of his cloak and started wrapping your hand with it to stop the blood. “Don’t use the dummies unless I’m here! Idiot, they can screw you up a lot worse than this, and we are out of bandages in the medical bay, so this will have to do…” 

Autumn continued to rant and scold you as he washed your hand through some snow and wrapped it tightly. He murmured and cursed under his breath, and you were able to catch a small portion of what he said. 

“...I don’t…want you getting hurt like this…” The rest was gibberish. 

Once he was done, you moved your fingers, wincing in pain as you observed the bandage from his torn cloak. You thanked him, telling Autumn he didn’t have to do that. 

Autumn rolled his eyes. “I need a new uniform anyway,” he stepped back before offering his hand. 

You took his hand with your healthy one. Despite his size, he hoisted you up to your feet. 

Autumn glanced at the ground. “And don’t wail like that; the entire Winter Kingdom probably heard your scream. You scared me to death!” 

You felt a blush run down your face. You asked him if that’s why he showed up so suddenly. 

“Nooooooo, I just happened to be in the area- of course, I showed up because you screamed!” He snarled, walking towards the door. He pulled the mask over his face. “I thought you were being attacked.” 

You risked teasing him about him rescuing you. 

To your surprise, he didn’t tell you to shut up or die in a hole like usual, as he didn’t respond well to teasing. He sighed and gripped his swords. “I would beat them to death if they harmed you.” 

Wow, that was new. In a way, he complimented you. You stayed silent, trying to hide your smile and blush as he opened the door for you, not meeting your gaze. 

Wondering where he was taking you, you followed silently as his feet stomped along the cobblestone ground, leading inside the warmer part of the SeasonTale fortress. You couldn’t tell if he was still angry or in a hurry due to his hood covering his cherry-red eyes. You figured he was tense about something… otherwise, you wouldn’t know how to explain why he held your good hand so firmly yet gently. 

The way he brushed his thumb across your palm sent shivers down your spine. 

“Everything alright?” A soft voice echoed from the kitchen.

You recognize the voice immediately. Spring Sans was the kindest amongst the Season Sanses. He was always cooking, cleaning, or busy in the medical station. He was tired, but he persevered. The fact that he stopped what he was doing to check up on you said a lot. 

“They were being stupid in the training field and cut themselves. I need access to the medical bay and a recap on how to bandage a slit wound, stat.” Autumn snapped, extending his hand toward Spring. 

Spring didn’t hesitate; he reached into his back pocket and tossed Autumn the keys. You watched as he rebalanced the ramen bowl in his hands after the toss. “Just wrap a clean cloth around the wound, tight enough so the blood stops and thick enough so it doesn’t seep through.” 

Autumn seemed to have the same reaction as you when the green-clothed skeleton mentioned a clean cloth. He glanced at your hand, and his torn suit wrapped around the wound before he shrugged. “Thanks.” He said quickly before heading to the stairs, pulling you along the way. 

Autumn ensured you didn’t trip on any of the stairs and lifted you up some to get you to the medical room faster. He easily unlocked the door and had you sit on the nicest bed, which, to your knowledge, was the one they had recently updated. They planned to replace all the beds, but you couldn’t help but wonder if you were getting a special privilege by being the first to try it out. 

“Just hold still while I clean your hand, dangit…” Autumn laid your hand on one of the trays and unwrapped it. Despite the initial pain, Autumn was so gentle that you barely felt his hand moving across yours to observe it. 

He was taking care of you in the most gentle way possible as if you were a precious flower to him. 

You had to hide your blush, especially with how close he was. He didn’t notice as he walked across the room, grabbing various wraps and supplies before returning to you and binding your hand until it was snug and comfortable. 

“Does that hurt?” Autumn asked, looking up at you as he finished the binding.

You barely could get one word out. 

“Well, too bad, deal it with,” he stated bluntly before he put the supplies away. “It’ll heal your hand quickly.” 

Part of you wanted to be surprised and hurt by his response, but you were reminded that Autumn is as harsh as his natural personality… part of why you fell in love with him.

In a way, it made him funny. He was a short gremlin with a raging personality, but his anger was never put in the wrong place… he always had control of his emotions and used them correctly…

In his opinion, anyway. 

Autumn adjusted his hood before he washed his hands, his eyes glued to the sink. He stood still, and the only thing that broke the silence was the water running over his bones. 

You decided to lean back into the new bed, feeling the mattress adjust to your body. It was incredibly comfortable, and it made your eyes droop. 

The room wasn’t bright, significantly after Autumn dimmed the lights when he was done. Four beds were adjacent, with thick curtains pulled back in between them. On one side were cabinets full of supplies and storage for many machines the Sanses used; some worked similarly to X-rays or scanners. The other side had couches, food, and drinks for people worried about their friends or family in the medical room. The lights were natural and used the sun for energy… though most of the time, it caused the lights to be dim because of the clouds in the winter kingdom. 

Of course, this was a tiny shadow of the Spring Hospital you heard much about in the Spring Kingdom. That was where the big cases went, and it was very efficient. 

Nevertheless, Autumn was efficient with your supplies, and your hand already felt better. 

The dim lights didn’t help with your impending nap or your exhaustion from training. Indeed, it wouldn’t hurt to close your eyes for a few minutes…

Autumn walked over to you, his feet barely making a sound. For the first time, under your droopy eyelids, you saw the red-clothed skeleton’s eyes soften, staring at you with… care. You lost track of time and how long he kept looking at you before placing his thumb between your fingers. His bones were rough and had scars all over them… He never told you how those scars got there, but you figured not all were from battle. 

You didn’t want him to know you were awake, which your goal proved problematic when he brushed your hair out of your face to stare again. “You’re an idiot, you know?” He sighed, smiling a bit. “It’s like I have to watch you every second to make sure you don’t get yourself killed…” 

His voice was barely a whisper not to wake you. Your attempts at hiding a blush failed, but Autumn didn’t seem to notice as he continued. 

“I… don’t mind though… gives me something to do. It eases my fear of you getting hurt when I get to protect you…” He paused, looking back at you before he squeezed your hand with his. “Yeah, you’re an idiot. But you’re a funny idiot, a cute idiot…” He paused again before he leaned down, kissing your forehead gently. His hand cupped your cheek, and his hood covered his and your face, making it impossible for outsiders to see anything. His teeth were cold in a soothing way, and his touch was gentle. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was long enough to cause the skeleton to blush… and to cause the butterflies in your stomach to flutter. 

“Heh, you’re my idiot.” 

Your eyes fully closed as his touch left you. You didn’t hear him walk away or open the door… You figured it was because of his stealth skill, but you did listen to him rant about how stupid his feelings were when he walked down the stairs. 

You didn’t remember much of your thoughts after falling asleep in the medical room. However, one thing stayed clear in your mind for the rest of the week and filled your dreams night after night. 

You were Autumn’s, and he wouldn’t let anything wrong happen to you on his watch. 

And that was enough to make you feel safe. 

[callsignfangs]

Any basic Farah Headcannons you got?

Also, do you ship her with Alex? (Just curious, no prejudice on ur opinion OP)

Tysmm anon I love getting to rant abt my girl 😚😚

Honestly, I think faralex is pretty cute :] I don’t really go outta my way to ship it bc I feel like Farah deserves more attention just as a character outside of ships, but I def love seeing the cute art and fics of them!! (Daily alex keller is where i get like 99% of my faralex, alex and gazalex fix. We love daily ak in this blog. /lh)

Now for farah hcs 😇

• 100% overprotective of people she loves. She knows better than to actually physically fight someone, but, depending on how bad the situation was, she knows how to absolutely destroy someone socially and never get caught. Like, you pick on one of her brothers/sisters and suddenly the next day everyone thinks you cheated on your husband and egged someones house.

• Def does art. Not necessarily like stylised portraits or anything, just tends to carry around a pen and a scrap of paper on missions and doodle pretty sights or happy moments in her free time.

• Doesn’t actually braid her own hair. She tried to learn in the past, but it never really caught on for her. She usually gets one of her brothers or sisters to do it for her, otherwise just puts it into a quick bun when she needs to.

• Has an absolute bleeding heart for animals. Will totally go out of her way to give food to stray cats and dogs wherever she goes, and if she settles down, the local stray animal population 100% crowds at her door every morning for snacks.

• Probably tried to adopt wild animals as a kid. Gave her parents a heart attack when her little 5 yo self walked in with a baby brown bear staring silently at them.

• Has a lot of scars. Obviously a lot of them are from missions and work, but surprisingly most of them are from stupid childhood stuff. Like, you could leave her alone in a padded room for a whole five seconds and you come back to at least three broken objects, something inedible in her mouth and a massive scrape across both of her arms. She wasn’t a stupid kid, just way too curious for her own good with absolutely no survival instinct.

• The master of gifts. Like, for birthdays and holidays, everyone just eagerly awaits her gifts because she somehow nails exactly what they want, even if they don’t ask her or suggest anything.

• Unintentional queen of gossip. She encourages people to come to her with info because she trusts herself to compile it and store anything important, but 99% of the time she only has drama being told to her. Like, sure, she could tell you the exact details of enemy movements to the centimetre, but she could also tell you about why Fatima broke up with her third boyfriend and how it was definitely his fault.

• Loves customising her appearance in little ways. She’ll have new nail designs and cute little hair bobbles and stuff like that pretty much daily. Def wants to dye her hair or do intricate makeup, but it’s just not practical or safe with her work.

• Hates ladders when they’re stood up by themself. She’s completely fine when they’re leaning on a steady surface, but otherwise put her anywhere above the second step and she’s shaking like a dog on a cat tower.

• Loves sleeping w people platonically. Just enjoys the safety of not being alone and trusts herself to look after the other person while they’re so vulnerable.

• Always doing something with her hands, from fidgeting with her hair, clothes, ect to just constant gestures while talking. Probably knows how to sew, knit, crochet, crack her fingers loud enough to wake the whole base, the lot.

• Is the kinda person who almost never get sick to the point where their immune system is a myth to their friends/family - until they get absolutely knocked out by the most vicious virus you’ve seen (and then bounce back after a few weeks somehow completely fine, like nothing happened).

• Just outright refuses to sleep with a blanket. Will tolerate a quilt, but absolutely refuses blankets. She loves to cuddle up in one while hanging out in the day or just unwinding, but literally can’t sleep at all with one.

• Can’t sit normally for the life of her. Put her on a chair and after maybe five minutes, her legs are each laid over a different end of the chair and she’s hanging from it upside down. /j

• Loves lego sets, just never gets to have them. Imagine that joke of giving guys that lego star wars falcon or sumt ship set and they’ll be completely distracted with it, just turn it up tenfold and add a little more rage.

• Has nightmares over the stupidest stuff. Like, there’s all that trauma nightmare material for her brain to feast on yet she wakes up in a cold sweat over a dream of serial killing cornflakes.

• Can’t massage for shit but is like the base’s personal chiropractor. You complain about your back aching? Five minutes later you’ve been folded perfectly over a table, each one of the joints in your body cracking with a decibel count similar to that of a volcanic eruption and your bones suddenly fresh as the day you were born.

• Holds really good game night kinda things. On an especially long stakeout, she’ll whip out a couple hoarded snacks and a deck of cards and it’s like a family game night all over.

• Surprisingly sentimental. She tries to avoid having too many, if any, personal objects just because she knows she’ll probably have to leave them behind eventually, even if her situation is stable at that moment. She totally has a favourite gun with a name that she treats like her firstborn child, though.

• Has no idea how to comfort people but is somehow absolutely amazing at it. You could be bawling your eyes out, experiencing literally the worst day of your life, whole world crumbling around you, and she’d just sit there in a too-long silence with a hesitant hand on your shoulder, awkwardly mumbling ‘there, there’, and it would inexplicably be the most comforting sensation you’d ever experienced. She just gives off a warm, cosy kinda energy.

• Gleeks on command. Just for funsies.

• Refuses to use any kind of non-manual toothbrushes (electric, sonic, ect). She just hates the feel of them in her mouth.

• Rages pretty easily but refuses to show that in front of her brothers & sisters. Likes to be a kind of role model to them so avoids being overly violent or rude like the plague (generally isn’t either of those without good cause, but esp not with them).

• Overanalyses things for fun. Partly as a bit of a military habit, but she also enjoys deep diving into the things she loves and explores loads of different ideas/meanings to them, and is really passionate about them. It also gives her a kinda fulfilled, safe feeling that honestly my girl deserves more of 😭 /lh

I might add more to this later when my brain kicks back in again 😇

Sorry if this isn’t exactly all hc material, I’m not too great with them, I usually stick to little scenarios and general stuff like that lol. I still enjoyed dumping these little ideas, tysm anon 😚🫂

[psychewritesbs]

Oof the amount of negative takes towards jjk on X is really something 😅. On one hand it's infuriating to see how most of the complaints boils down to 'I don't like this particular story telling so it's objectively bad' or 'the character I like is not getting the kind of treatment I want them to have so this writing is bad' yet at the same time, seeing all the discourse really serves to solidify Gege and JJK's impact on the anime community. Like, people can try to deny it but despite the supposed 'bad' writing most people are still geared in and going along the ride albeit while screaming loudly 😂.

Good luck on the anime onlys though. I've seen a lot of them shook and ranting about Nobara's death and once again I'm reminded of just how effective Gege writes his characters to the point that despite the limited screentime they have, he could still evoke strong emotions from the readers.

On a separate note: just for fun, how do you think would the trial go? Sukuna looked like he's gonna have so much fun with this and I can't wait to see what he has in store for the judgeman. And of course, we might just get our first glimpse of Megumi after a while.

What the hell is going on anon? Is this the almighty power of The Nobara love?

Can you imagine what it's going to be like when the animated episode for ch236 drops?! I think I'm going to go ahead and schedule a social media cleanse for that entire month.

I just loved what you said so much about jjk's popularity because it's SO TRUE. The fact that people think jjk is overrated is proof of how massive a success it is. I think what's going to happen is that the people who love jjk will continue watching just like it happened with the manga during the Culling Game Arc.

This also reminded me of when I was in the And Just Like That fandom. I was one of the people saying "this is shit writing!" because I wanted it to be like Sex and the City. But I was so focused on what I didn't like about the show that I was definitely hate-watching just to see what happens regardless.

I used to think "how can people like this?" and now I'm the one in the hot seat lol.

Looking back, all along I saw tons of people who did love the show complaining about the constant negativity from those who proclaimed to not like it, and just wanting to enjoy a story they love without having to read criticism from people who don't love it like they do.

But such is life lol. Now I know what it feels like to have someone in the back of your ear constantly talking about how what you love sucks.

So a part of me wishes jjk was not popular right now in the sense that less popularity means more room to enjoy a story geared at a very specific audience. That's my selfish wish... and yet, jjk deserves its popularity because that many people love it.

About the trial. I was honestly so obsessed with Miwa that I forgot about Megumi lol. All I can say is that if we get to see Megumi because of this arc I'll personally go hug Gege. Also, the whole technicality of the trial happening on a day when sentencing doesn't happen?

Fucking Gege. He's such a contrarian.

Thanks for stopping by anon!!!!

[felikatze]

*removes the tape* talk about binding blade do it do it do it do it

i lost my whole rant on binding blade's story but it is SOMEWHERE on tumblr and it is NOT TAGGED because i didn't live my truth

anyway. we were talking about idunn. let's fucking. talk about idunn.

i'm disappointed that she's less of a presence in the story honestly she only appears like 2 times but i LOVE HERRRR. she's the proto grima she did it first. dont even get me STARTED on my thoughts about divine dragon lore as it relates to idunn

DID YOU KNOW? IDUNN AND GRIMA AND SOMBRON ARE ALL KNOWN AS "DEMON DRAGON" IN A WIDE VARIETY OF LANGUAGES. GRIMA'S TITLE WAS NEVER UNIQUE AND I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ON THAT

anyway. why i think idunn works. it's mainly about framing. first of all idunn isn't a toddler which makes the whole thing less uncomfortable, second the game frames what happened to idunn as an atrocity. the divine dragons were one of the tribes who aimed to escape the scouring instead of fighting (with some of them presumably heading through the dragon's gate alongside a smattering of ice and fire dragons, and some of them settling down in arcadia in the nabata desert).

The divine dragons wished to flee because the dragons who wished to fight the humans wanted a weapon, and they knew they could turn a divine dragon into one. the divine dragons were horrified by this, and fled - except idunn. idunn didnt escape in time.

idunn was captured, and her mind was broken. she had no will left whatsoever. in the game, she's basically a machine - not following zephiel out of any conviction, but because he's the first person to release her. when jahn explains this, he is RIGHTFULLY called out for it by roy. this shit is disgusting and jahn knows it, but he justifies it anyway.

idunn is 100% the victim. but it is so so so easy to condemn her, to "put her out of her misery." like i know in a lot of FE games the brainwashed girl still has some way to be saved - there's a spell to be broken, a villain to be defeated, a magical object to be destroyed, but there isn't with idunn. her soul is just geniuenly destroyed. it's entirely mental. jahn says there is no way to save idunn.

but fuckin. roy doesn't accept that. there is the slightest sliver of possibility in the binding blade. it listens to its user's will, so perhaps he can....?

i'm kind of obsessed with the way it clicks IMMEDIATLY what roy is planning to do, but he never actually says it aloud until he does it. he just tells everyone to trust him and to let him deal the final blow. he doesn't say "oh this might save the demon dragon we have to kill." he just charges in and does it. does he think the others might try to stop him?? maybe?? i think ch24 has some great characterization that is overshadowed by the massive exposition dump where roy's just there to be the ear of the audience instead of an autonomous character.

honestly, i think roy's desire to save idunn actually greatly parallels how guinevere condemns zephiel. at the start of the game, guinevere is horrified by her brother, but still wants to save him. as time goes on, though, she struggles to hold onto her optimism. when she hands roy the binding blade, she accepts that he's going to kill zephiel.

this deeply pacifistic compassionate character essentially putting her brother to death because to her he is that far gone is such a great writing choice oh my god. (i wish it was in a better story.)

but zephiel believed what he said. he believed humans were corrupt and needed to die - in fe6, there's the general notion of human goodness. that people can be cruel, but they can be better, too, they can choose to become better. and zephiel refused that. zephiel refused to do better, instead just enabling the atrocities he condemned. that is why he dies. because he refuses change.

all his generals are given the option to back down, to live and grow, but they all refuse, and they die for their conviction in a cruel world.

idunn never had that choice. who knows what idunn believes? roy believes in a better world, and he will give idunn the freedom to decide what she wants out of it.

i first got the true ending when i was on the train, and ngl, i did almost cry over it in public. because idunn does get better. if you get the true ending and fae survives, you get a bonus scene - fae and idunn, back in nabata. idunn appears emotionless as fae urges her to play, until fae's enthusiasm leads to a coconut falling on her head.

and idunn - idunn laughs.

for the first time in millenia. there was no spell to be broken on her. roy doesn't snap his fingers and she's happy again. it'll be long, it'll be hard, but idunn will heal. and this is her first step.

i got kinda emotional seeing her spring alt in heroes afterward. she just looks. content. this character who went through so much tragedy and suffering for an eternity can still recover and heal because there are people who will help her do so. fae and roy and all the others.

i just. wargrhhrhr. the core message of human goodness and the capability to be better if you just choose to do so and the empathy to recognize that sometimes people didn't have that choice and you should give it to them, always. if they refuse, there's nothing you can do, but you should still try, right?

i actually really really love roy as a protagonist outside of "roy's our boy" memes and i disagree with the takes that someone else should be the protagonist of fe6. because roy is an outside to this and that is the point. he's just some kid doing the best he can! he's not the descendant of some legendary hero! that's lilina and zephiel! he doesn't have any mystical power! that's sophia! he doesn't have a dramatic backstory! that's elffin!

anyone could wield the binding blade. it's just roy who picked it up. that's the point. anyone can change the world. anyone can do better. anyone can make the universe a little bit kinder, if they just try.

[curseofbreadbear]

the “circus baby deserved better” rant:

[google doc version]

My love for Circus Baby as a villain is fucking unprecedented. Her appearances in the books and games are always ones that I look forward too – she’s the epitome of the “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” meme, and I refuse to let that go. As such, it is fucking CRIMINAL that she wasn’t involved in Security Breach – and for that matter, that she isn’t utilized more OFTEN. I’m going to go over her various appearances and also the reasons I KNOW she should have been a sort of “final boss” for SB, at the very least.

THE BOOKS:

The Silver Eyes trilogy

Circus Baby’s role in this trilogy might be my favorite. I know that a good number of people don’t care for the “Charlie bot” twist, but the characterization of Baby in these novels is GOD TIER. I adore her backstory, her motivations, all of it – and not only that, but the lore can absolutely transcend to the games if you look hard enough. MatPat even touched on it in one of his videos! Circus Baby’s canon appearance from Sister Location onwards matches how she is described in the books, which is crucial for one detail alone: the pins. These are a key feature which, in turn with her illusion disc, allows her to take Charlie’s form in the first place. This ability (taking other forms via illusion disc) is also explored in other book entries. Connecting book lore to game lore isn’t really popular, I know, but I’m connecting the fucking dots, dammit.

ANYWAY.

Whereas the most you learn about Circus Baby from Sister Location is that 1) she’s your sister and 2) she’s a fucking liar, there is a MASSIVE amount of lore to be gleaned from The Silver Eyes trilogy alone. Let’s dig in, shall we?

First things first – in the books, William Afton didn’t create Circus Baby. Henry Emily did. Shocker! The same man who created Fredbear’s and springlock suits made the technological feat that is Circus Baby? I know. Where this “twist” gets interesting, however, is just how much HATRED Baby possesses for her creator.

Circus Baby was originally meant to function as one of the Charlie bots, hence why she is able to take Charlie’s place during The Fourth Closet; however, when Henry was building HER, he was at the height of his madness. His disdain and malice rubbed off on her, and those emotions became the only thing she knew. Not only that – Henry left her in an incomplete state, albeit one where she could still THINK and FEEL. She suffered for God-knows-how-long, rotting in a corner of Henry’s workshop, seething with rage, writhing in pain. Charlie herself has memories about Baby as an incomplete endoskeleton with burning silver eyes, and seemingly, Charlie could also TELL that Baby was in great pain.

William Afton “rescued” Baby from this fate, presumably stealing her from Henry’s workshop and “completing” her. Needless to say, her undying loyalty could be the result of her gratitude. But what else could it be? Hmm.

(TW: CHILD ABUSE)

At one point, Circus Baby asks Charlie to call her Elizabeth – the name of the child possessing her, although in her eyes, they are one and the same. Honestly? They might as well be; same reliance on William Afton, same desire for acceptance and love, etc., etc.. While revealing Elizabeth’s presence within her, Baby shares a memory from Elizabeth’s eyes, in which she tries to prove herself to William – only to be hit for “disturbing him.” In that moment, Elizabeth’s eyes settle on what her father was so diligently working on – he’d been polishing Circus Baby. Elizabeth wanted to become her; an object of her father’s devotion. Aaand…I’m sure we all know what happened from there.

(END TW)

The symbiosis between Elizabeth and Circus Baby is an intriguing one that only gets explored in this trilogy – the two of them coexist and share the same goals, wanting to make William happy, wanting him to accept them. I just think they’re neat!! They’re the only animatronic-ghost duo that really get each other, and it just makes them all the more powerful.

Okay, to summarize ( since this is getting too long ); Circus Baby was created by Henry Emily, then stolen and completed by William Afton. Circus Baby hates Henry’s guts because she was mistreated and horribly neglected in his “care.” Circus Baby has illusion discs, meaning that she can “change forms.” Circus Baby is basically dependent on William Afton and craves his acceptance; this is a trait that likely came from her own gratitude and from Elizabeth’s presence. Circus Baby and Elizabeth are the most girlbossy ghost/animatronic duo to ever exist.

To Be Beautiful

This is another appearance of Circus Baby’s that I adore, since it combines facets of Baby’s personality and lore from TSE and Sister Location. She’s still that same gaslighting girlboss. I love her.

SO-

In this story, Circus Baby appears as “Eleanor,” a slender doll who only activates in the night. She’s taken in by Sarah, an insecure girl who wants – as the story’s title would suggest – to be beautiful. Eleanor assures that she can make Sarah’s wish come true, with the help of a heart-shaped pendant that Sarah can never remove; wanna guess what’s inside of it?

It’s only implied, IIRC, so only TRUE FNAF fans will know (/j) that this heart-shaped pendant most likely contains an illusion disc. The reason that Sarah becomes model-esque and beautiful is because her actual body is being torn apart and replaced with scrap; her pendant/illusion disc simply keeps up the facade. 

In the end, Eleanor’s true intentions are revealed – she never cared about helping Sarah. In reality, she was only after Sarah’s appearance; at the end of the story, she skips away after “becoming” Sarah, telling Sarah’s scrap metal remains that she made her dreams come true.

It’s another incarnation where she lulls someone into a false sense of security before “stealing their skin,” and I quite enjoy it.

Fazbear Frights Epilogues (Stitchwraith Stingers)

These epilogues function as a continuous story (all of which take place after the collective events of Fazbear Frights); Circus Baby’s appearance in it is once again significant. This is also one of the stories I will point to as evidence that Baby should have been a “final boss” of sorts, so pay close attention!

Eleanor breaks down at some point after the events of “To Be Beautiful,” and her collapsed form is brought to an abandoned factory by the Stitchwraith so that it can be scrapped (along with several other mementos from the Fazbear Frights stories, all of which are infected with agony). A messy series of events leads the objects / animatronics gathered by the Stitchwraith at this factory to amalgamate and become “The Agony.” Eleanor, who has not yet become part of this entity, absorbs some agony from the Stitchwraith, THEN joins The Agony. Before The Agony is destroyed, Eleanor separates herself from it and slips away.

Later on, she reappears under the guise of “Renelle,” the daughter of a scientist who has been experimenting with remnant. She tricks Jake, the Stitchwraith’s only remaining spirit, into taking her to Renelle’s home – once there, it’s revealed that she’s taken on a sinister role in a good amount of the stories within Fazbear Frights. It’s not just the epilogues, or To Be Beautiful – she’s been an overarching, horrifyingly EVIL presence.

And still, despite this reveal, her plan succeeds. After feigning an injury, the scientist hands her remnant to heal her wounds – and just like that, she’s won. Remnant is the key to immortality, which is what she’s been after the whole time. This victory doesn’t last long, though – a MASSIVE showdown in the second-to-last book ultimately defeats her, though it is very much treated like the “final boss battle” that it deserves to be.

A note: William Afton was NOT the real threat in these epilogues. He was overwhelmed super fucking easily, actually. It turns out that Eleanor, Circus Baby, was the prevailing evil all along – and rightfully so. What a girlboss.

SO, to recap (I know, this section’s long): Circus Baby, as Eleanor, is revealed to be a sinister presence throughout most ( if not all ) of the Fazbear Frights stories. Like, “more of a threat than WILLIAM AFTON” kind of evil. She even ( partially ) succeeds in her ultimate goal: collecting remnant, the key to immortality. Before she can actually attain that immortality, however, she is defeated in a final boss-esque fight.

THE GAMES:

FNAF World

Lest we forget, this was technically Baby’s first in-game appearance! A sort of teaser for her role in TSE, as well as a fun teaser for Sister Location as a whole, this actually kind of tied book and game lore together. Circus Baby appears in a small cutscene alongside Henry Emily. Henry claims that he has made a horrible mistake, referring to the creation of Circus Baby; the lights briefly go out, and when they come back on, Henry has collapsed on his desk in a pool of blood. Baby tells the player to “stay in their seats; the show will begin momentarily.”

(TW: SUICIDE MENTION)

I find this cutscene PARTICULARLY interesting because of the implication that Circus Baby killed Henry, which is a headcanon I will hold onto until the day I DIE. “Suicide robot,” my ass.

(END TW)

The important thing to glean here, in any case, is that this is a GAME appearance in which Henry is outright STATED to be Circus Baby’s creator. His speech leaves no room for interpretation, and although it could be debated whether the Desk Man actually IS Henry, it’s kinda obvious. I think the fandom has collectively agreed that it’s Henry, so take that, science!

Sadly, FNAF World has since been declared “not canon,” but I can choose to cling to this as CRUCIAL book-and-game-connecting evidence, goddammit.

Sister Location

Circus Baby’s main appearance (but not her first)!

Sister Location is more “mainstream” than any of the entries I’ve discussed thus far, and as such, its story is common knowledge to most FNAF fans. If you know Circus Baby, or if you’re a fan of hers, you probably know her because of Sister Location. Still – I’m going over everything, so let’s go:

Despite being the star of this game, Circus Baby does not appear until Night 5. Instead, you only hear her voice. Throughout the game, she guides Michael, the protagonist (and Elizabeth’s brother), through his night shifts in order to gain his trust. Much like the books, this is a front – she only wants to use him as a means to an end. 

The game repetitively mentions and makes use of the Scooping Room, a room which contains a machine aptly called “the scooper.” This device digs out the insides of the animatronics, and with them, remnant. Basically, it’s a tool to harvest remnant from the animatronics (presumably after they make a kill). 

While scooping doesn’t ultimately harm animatronics, it does obviously prove lethal to humans – and Michael becomes victim to the scooper after being led there by Circus Baby. Why? Well, because she and the other Funtime animatronics want – need – to escape. What better way to do that than to wear someone else’s skin?

It’s kinda obvious by now, but that’s a bit of a recurring theme in all of Baby’s appearances.

Now, contrary to her other appearances, Circus Baby shows a meager amount of mercy at the end of this game; in the Custom Night cutscenes (which reveal Michael’s fate after being scooped), she doesn’t allow Michael to die. Not only that, but she insists over and over again that he “won’t” – like she’s encouraging him to come back. In every other appearance of hers, she ruthlessly tortures or kills her victims, and she even left Sarah for dead. Not Michael, though – Michael got to stick around. Maybe she does care.

TSE filled in a few blanks on a lot of this game’s lore. For example, we didn’t know Elizabeth’s name until Circus Baby said it in the books – and even if the books are split from game canon, they still share certain facets that make them feel connected. In my heart, I want to believe that most (if not all) of Circus Baby’s backstory is the same as it is in the trilogy. I’m very attached.

Summary: Circus Baby guides Michael through his night shifts, but this is a ruse. She ultimately leads him to his doom, and when his insides are scooped out, she and the other Funtimes wear his skin so they can escape. She doesn’t let him die in the end, though, and even encourages his revival.

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator

Another fun one! In FFPS, Circus Baby comes back as a salvageable animatronic, believing that she’s being encouraged to fulfill her purpose (i.e. killing kids, collecting remnant, all that jazz). Spoiler alert: she’s wrong. She was led to the pizzeria so that she would be destroyed, along with the rest of the animatronics that continued to haunt the Fazbear franchise. 

What I find most interesting about this entry is what technically happened before it; it’s revealed in some of the supplementary FNAF material (The Freddy Files, for example) that Circus Baby split off from Ennard before the events of FFPS because of their differences in ideology. As a result, Funtime Freddy took over, resulting in “Molten Freddy.” 

Funny that, despite their shared instinct being to kill, they couldn’t get along. I wonder if it had something to do with Circus Baby’s undying loyalty to her father. She even mentions “making him proud” in the true ending… 

Security Breach: Fury’s Rage

This is another one I’m going to reference for the “Circus Baby should be the final boss” aspect of this post. I’m even going to pull up pictures for y’all. Ready? 

Security Breach: Fury’s Rage is another funky li’l spin-off game that was made to atone for SB’s delayed release date. It’s a side-scrolling beat-’em-up, but there’s also minor details that add up to something…more.

The final level of this game resembles a factory, akin to the abandoned one mentioned in the Stitchwraith segments. If you’ll notice, the conveyor has a bunch of animatronic parts, and there are doll torsos hanging from various spots.

Now for the best part. Look closely at this one:

Who could that be, lurking in that pod? I really, really wonder.

I think this entire level is a reference to the books, but hear me out: spin-off or not, this is an official GAME relating to Security Breach. Vanny is the “boss” of this level, a level where CIRCUS BABY is a threat lurking just beneath the surface. I think that should say SOMETHING. 

(In other words, this is a big one, since this came out a few months before SB and almost hinted at Circus Baby being the “real” villain – Patient 46-style.)

HER UNDERUTILIZATION:

This is the big one.

Circus Baby has MASSIVE potential as a villain. She’s already seen it through in the books, but never explicitly – she’s always been a lurking threat. Whenever she does act out her role, she’s almost played to be lesser than William Afton – but really, when you look closely, she’s worse than he is. She’s a monster of William’s design. Not only that, but Faz-lord, her motivations are more compelling than his ever were. She craved his love so badly that she was corrupted. Being neglected, scorned, and ultimately abandoned by Henry were just the building blocks – and now, with her devotion to a man who’s never loved anyone or anything, she could be fucking TERRIFYING.

Her laundry list of crimes (that word doesn’t even do it justice) is HUGE. There’s the books, where’s she:

Replaced Sarah after the events of “To Be Beautiful” (left Sarah for dead)

Gave the Plushtrap Chaser its distinguishing (and cursed) characteristics – human eyes and teeth (Out of Stock)

Tortured Delilah (it wasn’t her Ella doll, after all!) (1:35AM)

Kept Pete “awake” while performing – note, PERFORMING – his operation (Step Closer)

Manifested as Shadow Bonnie to torture Toby (Hide and Seek)

Pushed Sam directly into a train (Blackbird)

Manipulated Jake AND Renelle’s father so that she could get her hands on remnant

Gave Jessica her pendant in “Frailty,” which resulted in Jessica sacrificing herself until she died (Tales from the Pizzaplex)

And the games:

Scooped Michael and wore him as a skin suit

Murdered an unspecified number of kids (a lot)

Murdered Elizabeth

And like, fuck, dude, I’m probably MISSING some. She’s a goddamn menace and I love her.

THAT BEING SAID:

Why the FUCK was she not PART of Security Breach, at the very least? I’m not talking about her head being stuck onto the Blob. I’m talking about HER. Where was Circus Baby, pulling the strings, like I was expecting her to?? Where was Circus Baby being a goddamn girlboss??

With Patient 46’s identity supposedly being revealed, my hopes of having Circus Baby as a true villain IN THE GAMES have been dashed, which is fucking TRAGIC because she deserves to stand on her own (without William Afton being part of her motivation, even). She could have made for an incredibly compelling villain, especially alongside Vanny. Hear me out.

Patient 46 is noted to be a manipulator. Patient 46 stole Vanessa’s tragic backstory to manipulate her own therapist. For Fazbear’s sake, her personality on the wiki is “that of a genius mastermind with a sadistic side.” Not only that, her interests include some interesting things, like sweets, masks, and disguises. Patient 46 is also regarded with feminine pronouns in other translations of SB.

This description almost perfectly aligns with Circus Baby, even the bits where 46 is regarded as “childish.” Her stature might not be as naturally small as the therapy CDs would imply, but that issue could easily be solved with use of her illusion discs. It wouldn’t be the first fucking time she tried to steal somebody’s identity. Hell, even stealing Vanessa’s backstory is a perfect “Circus Baby” thing to do – if she doesn’t want to reveal herself, she can always take a sad story and make it hers. 

Circus Baby being revealed to be the “mastermind” would have been so satisfying, especially with the hints provided in the books and even in Fury’s Rage. She was there behind the scenes in both cases, but at least in the books, she got a big reveal. Instead, now we have [SPOILER] replacing what could have been an AMAZING moment. She could have been working alongside Vanessa. Fuck, even if she was working AGAINST Vanessa, it’d work! She has a canon streak of jealousy, so I can’t imagine she’d take too well to Vanny “replacing” her.

Just picture how amazing a final boss fight with Circus Baby, depicted in the games themselves, could have been. Imagine a possible showdown between Vanny and Circus Baby. I feel fucking robbed. It’s 2AM and I can’t figure out how to word this properly anymore, but I’m sick and tired of them not doing Circus Baby justice. Her role has been reduced to book villain, and while I LOVE reading about her exploits, I cannot fucking stand that she isn’t used in the games anymore. She deserves better. 

In conclusion: CIRCUS BABY SUPREMACY. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, holy fuck.

[glass-warehouse]

NICHOLAS VINTEREN

oh god i did it. i'm gonna need a shirt that reads; i'm an artist! ask me about my hand! and then on the back, SPOILERS: it hurts.

anyway here is my MC just before it all goes to shit. something something peacock feathers symbolising pride something something the height of pride before a fall—you get me?

BONUS!!!: here is a shitpost i drew as a real insight into how i felt for about 35% of the process.

You don't have to read this if you don't want to. This is my rant and criticism space, it's really more for me. Thanks 7 years of conditioned behavior.

I considered this piece abandoned a few months ago. Just as I was starting the first pass of shading I saw a massive error. I'm pretty vigilant with my layers, keeping copies in case I need to go back and fix something, but I thought I was all done and dusted. Ready for the next stage. So I had no backups. At this point I'm too far in to easily fix it without making a huge mess and it was a massive motivation killer. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I didn't want to continue, so I left it.

Months later I came back, the work I hadn't finished was perfectly fine, I thought it looked good. I decided that I was going to finish the piece even if it killed me even with the mistakes. It happens to all of us. And man I am so happy I continued.

I could've kept going on it to be honest, but I had to put a stop somewhere. There are problems, things I wish I had or hadn't done, but for what it is I'm damn pleased with myself. So I'd say it was a success :)

The last 45 minutes were spent on the background (look too close and I'll kill you). There wasn't even going to be one before then. Glad I stuck out the extra time even though I was fucking exhausted and ready to have my hand completely crushed by a large object.

Around 75% of the way done I notice that my auto-saves are causing my laptop to freeze. I know hefty files can do this but it's only a full body drawing, not what I'd consider hefty. Well it turns out that past me thought so highly of this piece, before it was even a sketch, to have it be in 4K RESOLUTION. That shit is crisp as hell, drink in all that clear detail, so long as Tumblr doesn't nuke it from orbit. (Future me here to say that yep, it got nuked. Guess I'll be the only one who gets to see it in high def, just what I wanted lmao 😒)

It sucks even more because I'm noticing the lack of clarity on another piece I'm doing, but I 1. don't need 4K quality and 2. my laptop can't take that level of a beating every time CSP auto-saves. Yeah I could turn off auto-saves but that feels like just asking for trouble.

Also yeah, I'm doing one for Hebe. It won't be as detailed as this piece because, unfortunately, that ability is on cooldown. Doesn't mean I won't try my hardest regardless, I just fear what might happen to me if I try that again too soon. I don't want another 3 month long shutdown. (As I write this I'm literally at the same point in her piece as I was with this one just before I gave up, lol)

[walnutcookiesstuff]

I SENT RHAT GIRL TO ANGST TOWN ‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

Warning for um. Emotional manipulation, very heavily implied murder, vague description of a corpse

—————

“You do not understand what I am telling you, Walnut.”

The chronokinetic’s fists tightened around their sonic embroider.

“You will do as I ask of you.”

The detective shook her head. She had been gived strange, almost horrifying missions before, but this was the last straw. “I’m not going to do this. I’m not going to hurt her.”

She stood firmly, with her arms crossed. Timekeeper’s glare only sharpened. They had been defied, but they had a plan b.

Suddenly, all the anger and resentment on their face faded, as if it was just a mask they could choose to wear. They gave a small, eerily out-of-place friendly smile.

“Then you will not have to lay a finger on her.”

Their friendly smile grew to a massive, amused grin.

“Ever. Again.”

With a blink, Timekeeper was gone. Walnut let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Maybe they’d leave her alone, for once.

Walnut continued on her day, it felt oddly peaceful. Timekeeper left her alone, and her day was kept on schedule. She even had time to see her cousin in the Technology Development Division.

…

But, something felt wrong. Really wrong.

Timekeeper had never left her alone this long.

She went home earlier than usual that day, as she had an odd feeling that something was not quite right. She was going to ask the director for permission, but no one had seen them since that morning. It was strange. 

As she got closer to home, the feeling only worsened. But she felt like she had to get closer. 

Closer.

When she finally got there, the feeling was overwhelming. She was shaking. She heard some odd noises from inside.

The feeling got worse.

She quickly opened the door.

“Creampu-?”

…

A pair of sly eyes turned towards her.

“The mission is complete.”

They stated in a cruel, amused tone.

Their eyes turned towards the worst of what was in that room.

No.

“I- wha… n-no…” She spluttered out, trying to make sense of the scene before her eyes.

She crouched down.

…was Creampuff really gone?

This couldn’t be happening. How did Timekeeper even do that? Why did they do this?… is it just to hurt people?

She carefully picked up her hand, but she immediately dropped it after feeling it.

…where was that comforting warmth?

“…how could you?” Her words came out soft and shaky. She didn’t understand. Why? Why would Timekeeper do this?

…was this their plan all along?

They laughed, like this was a good joke they’ve heard a dozen times.

“Did you think I would actually pity you? A random mortal with a slightly entertaining way of dealing with trauma?” They snarled, their laughter now mocking.

“Please, you are lucky I am not completely bored with you. Now, look what happens when you are not doing what you are told.”

They gestured towards the corpse.

Walnut gagged in response to having to see it again, she couldn’t stand the sight.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Is this just some joke with my pain as the punchline?!” She screamed in anger, the chronokinetic merely shrugged at her frustration.

“Of course. What more use are you? Think about it.”

They knelt down to her, putting their cold hands on her shoulders.

“Did you really think I hired you for your detective skills? The only big crime you have ever solved had the answer right in front of your very eyes! How could you ever think you were actually worthy of being an agent in the Time Balance Department?”

Walnut was completely speechless at this.

She stared down at the corpse again, choosing to ignore Timekeeper for now.

“Sweetheart? C-Can you answer me…?”

…

“Please, make a little movement if you can hear me…”

…the once-alive object in her arms remained limp and cold.

“…please, anything… just stay…”

She choked out through the sobs that had started leaking through her voice.

“Creampuff… no… nononono… just, stay…”

…

“…you can’t be gone too…”

She could hear Timekeeper going on another rant, but the silence from her love was too deafening to hear the director speak.

It all felt too real.

This couldn’t be really happening…

SOBBING BUT ALSO HAPPY THAT SOMEONE'S WRITING ABOUT MY AU 😭

[tomwambsmilk]

brenna i'm sorry to tell you it was nicholas braun who said greg was 'on the side of morality in the show' and sparked all the recent discourse. https://theplaylist.net/succession-nicholas-braun-on-gregs-turn-to-the-dark-side-interview-20220617/

NAUR…….. this is why I don’t read actor interviews 😭😭😭😭😭😭

...... However. I have had an essay kicking around my drafts about the succ characters and how they approach morality for a while that interview + this discourse has reminded me it exists, so I'm gonna drop a little bit of it here. Because, while I do think "Greg is on the side of morality" is.... wrong, objectively speaking, it's very interesting to me that Nich Braun thinks that, and I wonder how much of this is "Nich Braun is kind of stupid" and how much of it is "he's speaking from the perspective of how Greg perceives himself". (If it is actually the second it is atrociously worded though... Please sir I am begging you to think before you speak.) But I'm going to assume more of the second just because if that's the case it reveals some really interesting things about how Greg understands morality and this is something I've been thinking about for a while.

TL:DR; Greg is NOT a moral centre and if Nich Braun actually genuinely thinks that he's insane. However, its very plausible to me that Greg thinks of himself as a moral centre, and if so the specific context Nich Braun is talking about here is incredibly revealing as to what Greg's moral decision-making framework looks like.

[Also re: the whole "Shiv can be a real bitch" thing... That line absolutely grates on my soul because it is a massive oversimplification. I do understand what he was trying to say having seen it in context though. Still an incredibly shitty word choice.]

Anyways. Before we dig into questions of "how moral are the characters" there's a much bigger looming question of "what is morality" and more specifically "what do the characters think it means to be a moral person" and "do they think morality is a useful decision-making framework". If I had to characterize Greg's approach to morality, I think I'd probably describe it as 'cosplaying morality'. I think he knows that he should be a good and moral person, in some sort of abstract sense, but he doesn't really know what that means, so he ends up with these broad-strokes statements like "I'm against racism" that are clearly pulled from very surface-level cultural discourse, and maybe whatever Ewan rants he's absorbed over the years. He also defines morality as things you shouldn't do, rather than things you should - don't be racist, don't lie if you're the news (which are much easier standards to fulfill than a moral standard that requires some sort of positive action). On the flipside, though, he struggles to apply any sort of objective moral standard to his actual day-to-day interactions with people. He doesn't really agonize over the moral quality of his decisions beyond the move to ATN. I do think he perceives himself as a moral actor, but in practice it's more hitting the talking points that he sees "good people" hitting.

I think he also has a really cartoonish image of what "bad people" are, which is part of why he jumps to the defence of Waystar in conversations with Ewan. Yeah a lot of that is very self-serving. But I think in his mind bad people are cartoonishly bad, and most of his day-to-day interactions with these people are.... not that, actually. When it's bad it's really bad, but there's also the fact that he spent about 8 months in Parks with Tom in Season 1 where nothing noteworthy enough to make it into an episode script happened, so I'd wager most of the day-to-day is probably... just a mundane corporate job to him. This might sound kind of crazy, but unfortunately I have actually seen this play out in real life with grown-ass adults, who get so stuck on "well x is a good/friendly/pleasant person most of the time, or to me personally, so no way they could be a bad person, and those bad things they did do were probably misunderstood, or maybe it was bad but they had good reasons, etc". That's a very convenient stance for Greg to take, but it's not beyond the bounds of reason in my mind that he actually believes it on some level.

And the specific context of this quote talking about Tom and Shiv tells us a few things. For one thing, he's defining being a moral actor in this specific situation as advocating for Tom and encouraging him to leave Shiv for the sake of his own personal well-being. Which is FASCINATING to me because (again assuming that he's speaking from a Greg headspace here) it indicates that for Greg being a moral actor is rooted a lot in the personal relationship. He's looking at everything that happened and going "well, whatever makes Tom happiest is probably morally good, and the right thing for me to do as his friend is to support that". Additionally, in his mind Tom's choice is justifiable because Shiv makes him miserable (and specifically because she makes him miserable by "being kind of a bitch" which... I do love Shiv and that's a massive oversimplification but its also not altogether inaccurate I guess). So there's also an element of comeuppance there in his worldview; a sense of "well, Shiv got what was coming to her". And finally, it indicates that for Greg loyalty isn't really a moral concept. There's no moral imperative in his mind for Tom to stay loyal to Shiv or to the Roy family as a whole, if doing so is detrimental to him personally.

So in the end it kind of circles back to the last two seasons of interviews where Nich's emphasized that Greg is doing what he does out of a sense of survival. I think there's an implication that he's turned survival into his moral framework. He's looking at everything going on with Tom and Shiv and saying "it's morally justifiable for Tom to do whatever he needs to in order to get into a better situation". Obviously, the massive problem with this worldview is that it's incredibly easy to abuse. And that's kind of what's happened with Greg - he went from being slimy in kind of a sympathetic way bc he was struggling to being slimy in a self-serving way incredibly quickly. And I think it also explains why his "principles" are almost cartoonishly broad - being "against racism" and "don't lie if you're the news" are unlikely to interfere with his ability to pursue what's best for him and the people he's close to. (I think part of the reason the move to ATN is so distressing for him is that it undermines his ability to say 'well I'm a good person because I don't do x' because now he is in fact involved in x'.)

It's also interesting that he doesn't extend this to Shiv - there's no sense of "well Shiv is entitled to do whatever she needs to in order to better her position". Maybe he doesn't perceive her actions as being to better her position, so it doesn't fall under that category. Or maybe for him a lot of it is rooted in that personal relationship he has with Tom - Tom is his friend and so Tom is the one he has a moral obligation towards, rather than Shiv. Or more likely - a combination of both, because its also very plausible to me that consciously or unconsciously Greg, who is so desperate for friendship and connection that he's spent almost a year putting up with Tom's abuse to get it, would make "I have some form of substantial connection to this person" a significant deciding factor in the extent of his moral obligation. Also a deeply problematic moral framework, because it obviously makes it morally acceptable to mistreat people you aren't close to. (Although at the same time I think most people do factor personal relationships into their moral decision-making in the sense that we feel that friends and family are owed more than strangers, but that's a separate topic.)

I have theories as to why Greg is like this, and the biggest one is that I think he was fairly neglected as a kid - maybe not physically, but Marianne doesn't seem like she was a super engaged parent, probably, and kids who are raised with excessively hands-off parents often don't have great moral frameworks, because a big part of learning to be a moral person is your parents implementing and enforcing rules and consequences that teach you how to be a moral person in your day-to-day actions, as well as explaining why certain things are right and wrong. I expect that's not something that Greg really had growing up, hence the broad cartoonish notions of morality he'd ended up with.

[earliebirb]

nosedive

steve/tony, fluff, (newly) established relationship, 3250 words

Tony stares absentmindedly out the airplane window as he puts his phone up to his ear, watching people run back and forth, performing last-minute engine checks. Some of the guys look sweaty and out of breath.

From the comfort of the air-conditioned Stark Industries private jet, he feels a slight twinge of sympathy for the people having to suffer in the humid summer heat.

He loosens his tie and sinks deeply into his seat, closing his eyes with a massive yawn as he listens to the ringing tone. He hadn’t been able to sleep very well throughout his five-day stay in Tokyo, too anxious about the contract to rest properly. 

The ringing tone goes on for a few more seconds before ending with a click, replaced by an achingly familiar voice greeting him in his ear. 

“Hello?” 

Tony’s eyes spring open. Outside, an aircraft marshaller walks by, speaking rapidly into his walkie-talkie.

“I had a blueberry muffin for lunch today. One single blueberry muffin.”

“...What?”

“It didn’t even taste that good. I couldn’t finish it. Too dry.”

“Tony, that’s not good. Is that all you had for lunch? You should really eat—”

“The meeting went well, by the way. Mr. Watanabe finally signed the contract, everything went as planned. My ride to the airport, however…”

“I told you things would go smoothly, you had nothing to worry about. You’re a brilliant negotiator—”

“The traffic? Fuck. I had to keep shifting in my seat to avoid pins and needles.”

“That sounds awful, are your legs okay—”

“Did you know that Tokyo is number nineteen on the list of cities with the worst traffic congestion in the world? I know that, because I looked it up on the way to the airport. But boy, did it feel like it deserved the number one spot. I think I lost feeling in my ass.”

“I did not know that. And, uh, is your ass okay—”

“Thank God for my private jet. These plush seats are the best things I’ve ever spent my money on.”

“That’s objectively not true, and you know it—”

“Then again, I think these seats in particular were Pepper’s choice? We remodeled the airplane’s interior like… two years ago. I couldn’t be bothered to meet with the airplane seat people and I just told her to pick whichever looked best. I had much more important things to tend to, like sewing up the holes in JARVIS’s Christmas stocking.”

“I am concerned about how you sort your list of priorities—”

“Hm, that’s right. I think it was around two, three weeks before Christmas and I didn’t want JARVIS to be upset about the whole stocking thing, you know?”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have—”

“Also, you’re right, the single blueberry muffin was a bad idea because now my stomach won’t shut up. So I’ve ordered some pasta for my in-flight meal. Robbie’s making it, you’ve met Robbie—”

“I’ve met Robbie, yes, he’s—”

“Larry’s replacement after he resigned. Gotta say, I was sad to see Larry go. Guy worked for me for seven years. But then there was that thing with his grandma, and he had to leave, so… But! Robbie makes a mean carbonara, maybe even better than Larry, don’t tell Larry I said that—”

“I don’t even know Larry like that, how would I—”

“Mr. Stark, we’re ready to go.” The pilot—Paul—emerges from the cockpit, staring at him in anticipation.

Tony nods and makes a few rapid gestures with his free hand that he supposes Paul is only able to interpret perfectly after years and years of working for Tony. The gestures roughly translate to something like “Copy, I hear you, just let me wrap this up and then I’ll let you know when I’m done. Capiche?”

Paul—bless him—just gives him a curt nod and retreats back into the cockpit. 

“Anyway,” Tony takes a deep breath and puffs his cheeks out with the exertion of his exhale, “I called because… I got a feeling, Steve.”

“A… feeling?”

“Just— A gut feeling. A feeling in your gut. Inside of me. Like a hunch?”

“Okay,” Steve says patiently, his voice low and warm, “what are you feeling?”

“I… got a bad feeling. Today. A few hours ago. The feeling came to me when I was sitting in traffic, and I just— I feel like something bad’s gonna happen today, Steve. I can feel it in the air. In my heart. In my gut. In my joints.”

“Your joints? Like… the feeling old people get when it’s about to rain?”

“Okay, maybe not in my joints. Also, are you calling me old, grandpa?”

“I did not, you told me you felt something in your—”

“Anyway, so yeah. Where was I? Oh, right. Feeling. Bad feeling. Like, like, I don’t know, something bad’s gonna happen. Like an accident. Like a plane crash.”

“God, please don’t say that. You’re scaring me, Tony.”

“And I guess, I just called because I… I feel like I need to do this before the plane crashes and I die a violent and fiery death.”

“Nothing bad’s going to happen, Tony—”

“Like, if I didn’t do this today, maybe I’d never get to do it, you know? And, uh, okay, I’ve honestly been ranting to stall for time, but the longer I keep it in the more nauseous I feel, so maybe I’m just gonna do it now so I can die in peace—”

“Do what? And stop saying that—”

“Look, I’m trying to be brave and honest here and— Wait, actually? Maybe I’m being a coward because if the plane actually does go down, I won’t have to face the consequences of my actions, so I guess I’m just going to say fuck it, and say that I love you.”

“The plane is not going to— Wait, what?”

“I, uh. Love you. I’ve known it for a while now. And, uh, I know we’ve only been dating for like, a week, but—” Tony blinks. They’ve only been dating for a week. 

“...Fuck.” Tony can feel his own pulse starting to race. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Tony?”

They’ve only been dating for a week. What is he doing? What the hell is wrong with him? Normal people don’t do this. 

“Fuck. Shit, I mean— Uh, I’m sorry. That was super weird, huh?” Tony laughs nervously. He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth and cursing his stupid brain. Of course it’s weird. He always gets too attached to people way too quickly. No wonder Pepper was his only long term relationship. She was the only person who could put up with him—everyone else just got weirded out. “Uh, see you tomorrow? Or not. Fuck, sorry, I’m just gonna hang up before this gets—”

“Tony, wait.”

“...Yeah?” Tony says, hyper-aware of how breathless he sounds. His heartbeat is ringing in his ears. Everything is going to be fine. Right? Right. The worst thing Steve could do is… break up with him.

Oh, God, that is the worst case scenario. He really should’ve just kept his stupid mouth shut. 

“Tony, are you freaking out? I feel like I can hear you freaking out from all the way over here.”

“No, I’m not, of course I’m not. Who says I’m freaking out? You have no proof. I am calm, I’m calm as a clam, is that the saying? Did I get it right? Or was it happy— Anyway, I am absolutely calm, I’m the calmest I could possibly be. Any calmer and I’d be asleep. I’m—”

“Tony. Breathe.”

Tony forces himself to drag in a slow breath as he grips the arm of his seat with his free hand, focusing on the soothing hum of the airplane’s engine.

“Look, Tony, I—”

“No, listen. I’m sorry I jumped the gun, I hope I haven’t weirded you out or anything. You really, really don’t have to say it back to me. I mean it.”

“Tony—”

“No, in fact— Please don’t say anything. It’s fine. Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay?”

“But—”

“Drop it, Steve. Please?” Tony pleads. Clearly, his brain hadn’t been firing on all cylinders. That is the only reason that could explain his temporary lapse of judgment. “Look, I feel like talking about it more right now is going to send me spiraling into a panic attack.”

“...Okay. Fine.”

“Thank you. Uh, I’ll see you when I get home. If I get home. If the plane doesn’t crash. Haha.”

“Would you please stop saying that? It’s not funny.”

Tony latches onto the change in topic like a lifeline. “It is objectively true, you know. In order for me to be able to see you tomorrow, the plane has to land safely, and unfortunately, some things are just beyond my control. Like, who’s to say the plane won’t explode mid-air and—”

“The plane is going to land safely and you’re going to come back home to me in one piece. This is non-negotiable, Tony. You hear me?” Steve demands, his voice all hard authority and no-nonsense, like there will be Consequences should Tony fail to comply. 

As if he could ensure Tony’s safety with the force of his willpower alone. 

Come back home to me. 

That sounds good. Really good. Tony closes his eyes and pictures Steve’s baby blues in his mind’s eye. Warmth flowers in his chest.

“I hear you.”

“Great.”

“Awesome. I, uh, I gotta go now.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

Tony hangs up and lets Paul know that he is done with his phone call. The jittery feeling left over from his call with Steve refuses to leave him, however, so he pulls up the drawing application on his phone and begins sketching something just to give his brain something else to fixate on.

He tends to lose track of time when he is hyperfocused on a project, so he isn’t exactly surprised that the next time he becomes aware of his surroundings, the plane is already well up in the air, his sketch of what looks like a flying coffee pot is almost finished, and Robbie is placing a plate of spaghetti carbonara on the table in front of him. 

“Spaghetti carbonara. With extra cheese.”

Tony’s mouth waters as he eyes the mountain of grated Pecorino Romano sitting atop the pasta. He sighs dreamily and smiles up at Robbie.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“Enjoy, Boss.” Robbie grins and slips back into the kitchen.

He only realizes just how truly famished he is after taking his first bite, and proceeds to finish the rest of his meal with gusto. Afterward, he spends the majority of the remaining flight time sleeping, the result of post-carbonara food coma and his sleep-deprivation finally catching up to him. 

It’s well past two in the morning when Tony finally makes it to his floor in the Tower, which is why he is surprised to see Steve sitting on his couch, one of Tony’s fantasy novels open in hand. 

“Steve, what are you doing here?”

Steve’s head snaps up at the sound of his voice. Tony frowns. “Actually, why are you awake at all?” He is usually an early sleeper, unless—

“Nightmare?” Tony gives him a sympathetic smile. It wouldn’t be the first time. In the early days of their friendship, Tony and Steve would sit together in the living room whenever they had trouble sleeping, talking to each other until the sun came up.

Steve shakes his head, closing the book with his eyes still trained on Tony. “No, I was just… waiting for you.” Tony blinks. 

“It’s…” Tony glances at his watch. “Half past two. In the morning.”

“I know, I just…” Steve stands up, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. He ambles over before coming to a stop right in front of Tony. “I wanted to see you.”

Tony stares at him uncomprehendingly. “You’ll see me later anyway.”

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t want to go to sleep without seeing you first,” Steve says, low and earnest. His gaze wanders around Tony’s face, as if he were cataloguing each and every facial feature and trying to locate any changes he might’ve missed during his absence.

“Oh.”

Steve steps closer, arms snaking around Tony’s waist and pulling him close. His next words are whispered against Tony’s shoulder.

“I knew you’d make it home safely.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You were wrong.”

“I was… wrong.” Tony swallows. “Uh, turns out the bad feeling completely disappeared after I woke up from my nap on the plane, so I suspect that perhaps the bad feeling I got was due to my severe hunger and sleep deprivation. I mean, I’ve heard about hallucinations caused by hunger or exhaustion, but this was—” 

Steve presses a soft kiss to the column of Tony’s neck, effectively cutting off Tony’s ramblings.

“Tony,” Steve whispers against his skin.

“Yeah?” Tony squeaks.

“Please don’t call me before a flight and say that you think the plane is going to crash, ever again.”

“Right. Noted. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Steve says, pulling away slightly and loosening his hold around Tony.

Tony allows himself to relax, letting out a quiet sigh. This thing with Steve is so new and delicate that every single physical contact still sends his heart fluttering, butterflies going crazy in his stomach.

Which makes, in retrospect, his abrupt love confession—as truthful as it was—that much more insane. God, Stark. Never do that again.

Except, it turns out that Steve only pulled away to slide his hands down the back of Tony’s thighs, wrapping his hands around them, and then lifting him up without warning.

Tony yelps, and in his alarm, promptly locks his ankles around Steve’s waist. When Steve begins moving, Tony quickly wraps his arms around Steve, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder.

“Uh, Steve?”

“Hm?” Steve says, calm and nonchalant, as he begins walking away from the elevator. 

“Um— Wait— My suitcase—”

“Leave it. It’ll still be there in the morning.”

Tony blinks, staring dumbfoundedly at his lonely suitcase, abandoned by the elevator. It becomes smaller and smaller with every step Steve takes. 

“Where are we going?”

“Your bedroom.”

“Why are you carrying me there?”

“Because I want to.”

“You know it’ll be faster if you just let me walk, right?”

“Maybe. But you won’t be in my arms.”

“Um.”

“Bear with me, will you? I missed you.”

“I, uh, missed you too.”

Steve hums, satisfied. Tony lets himself settle more comfortably in Steve’s arms.

When Steve has successfully carried him to his bedroom, Tony fully expects Steve to deposit him on the bed. 

That is not, in fact, what happens. 

Instead, Steve turns around and begins walking backwards towards the bed before sitting down on it. Tony, still seated on his lap, swallows and pulls back slightly to look at Steve. 

“Look, Steve, as much as I’ve missed you, I’m kind of tired right now. I mean, don’t get me wrong. This whole carrying thing? Great. Very romantic. Ten out of ten. But I’m just not in the mood for sex, you know? Like, I’m not even sure I would be able to get it up if—”

“We’re not going to have sex.”

Tony blinks.

“We’re not?”

“We’re not. I’m just here to tuck you in.”

“Oh.”

Steve reaches up and begins undoing his tie. After setting it aside on the bed, he begins to unbutton Tony’s shirt. He takes his time, one button at a time.

“So…” Steve begins with a deep breath as he unbuttons the final button. “Did you mean, uh, what you said to me? On the phone?”

Tony closes his eyes, feels his own cheeks heating up. “Steve—”

“I’m sorry, Tony, I know you told me to drop it. But— I feel like if you did mean what you said, I owe it to you to… set the records straight.” When Tony opens his eyes again, Steve is looking up at him, blue eyes solemn.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… We have only been together for a week. Well, eight days. In fact, we’ve only been on one date. And it was interrupted. By giant lizards.” Steve chuckles incredulously. 

Tony remembers that day very well. They were in the middle of dessert at Tony’s favorite Italian place when they received the call to assemble—something about giant lizards wreaking havoc in Central Park.

The lizards had green, gunky blood that got into the nooks and crannies of the suit. It had taken forever to clean.

“But Tony…” Steve gathers the material of Tony’s unbuttoned shirt in both of his fists, pulling him closer until their noses are only inches apart.

The second their eyes meet, Steve smiles the sweet, lopsided smile that never fails to make Tony’s stomach flip.

“I need you to know that… I didn’t have to date you to know that I loved you. I figured that a long time ago.”

Tony stills, breath frozen in his lungs.

“I guess, what I’m saying is… I love you too. I’ve loved you for a very long time, Tony. Even way before—” Steve breaks eye contact, looks down as he clears his throat. When he speaks again, his voice is tight. “Way before we got together. I’m talking… years before.”

Tony still finds it hard to breathe. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, the word more breath than sound. He meets Tony’s dazed gaze. “So you don’t have to worry about… jumping the gun. Not with me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“...Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony feels a lightness growing inside of him, spreading outwards to his extremities.

“Good.” Steve smiles, warm and impossibly fond.

“...Glad we’re on the same page.” Tony’s gaze drops down to Steve’s lips.

“We are.” Steve inches closer, nose brushing Tony’s. He then tilts his head ever so slightly and takes Tony’s lower lip between his, kissing him so tenderly Tony’s heart feels like it’s about to burst with it.

Steve’s warm hands slide up Tony’s naked back under his open shirt, sending goosebumps breaking across his skin. Tony buries his hands in Steve’s hair and relishes the feeling of the soft strands caught between his fingers. They stay caught up in each other for a few moments, capturing and releasing each other’s lips until the need for breath becomes too unbearable.

They break apart eventually, accompanied by soft chuckles. Steve smiles up at him, lips slick and cherry red, courtesy of Tony. He reaches up to caress Tony’s right eyebrow with the pad of his thumb, fleeting and affectionate.

“Get some rest, okay? You must be really tired. I should probably go to bed, too.”

Tony looks down at his lap, clearing his throat. “Uh, I know that we haven’t done this before, but…”

Steve waits patiently for Tony to gather his thoughts, hands stroking up and down Tony’s sides.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” Tony finds the courage to meet Steve’s eyes, holding his breath.

Steve’s blue eyes are gazing at him intently, looking at him like he’s the only person in the world worth his sole, undivided attention.

Tony swallows. “No sex. Just to sleep. If you—”

“Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“I would like that very much.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony feels his own lips slowly curve up into a smile, wide and unbridled. 

“Good.” Steve nods, lips twitching, his eyes never leaving Tony’s. 

Tony grins, feeling near giddy with delight. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

“We are, sweetheart.” Steve looks up at him, blue eyes fond and smile radiant. “We definitely are.”

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XXIII

Part I - - - - - - - - - Part XX - - - - Part XXI - - - - Part XXII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

The office was quiet but for the occasional shuffling of flimsi and tapping of datapads.

Bail Organa and Mon Mothma pointedly did not exchange a glance behind Padme’s back.

Senator Mothma set down her pad and broke the silence. “Padme...are you alright?” she asked softly.

“I’m fine Mon, let’s just go over the bill,” Padme responded stiffly.

Mothma hesitated. “That’s not the only reason I asked you here, Padme.”

Padme stood, chair scraping gratingly. “I see; I’ve already had the Chancellor pry me today in an attempt to exploit my ‘connections’ to the Jedi—as though they’re droids and not flesh-and-blood people who any average person could strike a friendship with—but I had thought better of you two; I suppose my faith was—”

“That’s not what I meant—” Mon pleaded.

“We’re concerned about you,” Bail insisted gently. “You don’t have to tell us anything about the Jedi that you don’t feel comfortable doing so.”

Padme paused, then reluctantly sat back down.

“My apologies,” she muttured. “It’s been...a long day. I’ve been asked by the Chancellor for help in breaking some news that...I’d rather not.”

The senators waited patiently for Padme to collect her thoughts. She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “General Kenobi has suffered from...force...I really don’t think there’s a way of saying this that doesn’t sound bad.”

“I had heard rumors that he was missing at meetings the last few days...has something serious happened?” Bail asked, concerned.

Padme shuddered. “This office is...”

“It’s clean,” Mothma confirmed quietly. “I have it checked independently anytime I’m gone for more then 15 minutes, with random deep-scans.”

“Would you mind...”

Mon nodded and the three waited in silence until the Chandurllian senator’s pad trilled the all-clear.

“Master Kenobi tried to kill himself earlier this week,” Padme confessed lowly. Mon straightened up in a sudden locking of knees and elbows, face drawn into tight lines. Bail’s hands flew to his mouth, tears forming.

“Knight Skywalker got to him in time, and he was in a coma until this morning when he apparently ‘ranted about ending the one’s responsible for the war’ and then vanished, along with Anakin.”

Mon grew very pale and Bail moved both hands from his mouth to his eyes.

“Fuck,” he said softly. “Just...fuck.”

Padme nodded in agreement and Mon inhaled deeply.

Bail rubbed way tears and straightened up resolutely. “How can we help?” he asked Padme. “How does the Chancellor want to handle releasing the news?”

She smiled weakly. “He’s leaving the exact wording up to me, but wants to make the announcement during the next full Senate gathering.”

“What!” Mon half-shouted, shocked. “There’ll be a riot! Surely a bulletin—even a press conference would be better for encouraging a moderate reaction—people will be shouting before he’s through the first sentence!”

“I know,” Padme agreed with a grimace. “But he wants ‘transparency.’“

“He wants panic,” Bail fumed.

“I’m trying to decide if it would better or worse to include the part about suicide,” Padme said bitterly. “Mental health breakdown and disappearance of the Republic’s highest General doesn’t leave much room for confidence or privacy.”

Mon clutched Padme’s hand in support. “I’ll have a PR team on standby. We can prepare resources for anyone who has questions, avoid conspiracy theories from spinning out. I already had a project on the backburner to put together own set of holoclips of the Jedi working towards peace—a counter to the ‘warmongering’ narrative, so to speak. It should be easy enough to adapt.”

“The Chancellor’s going to turn this into another military spending bill,” Bail predicted grimly. “We’ll make sure there’s a proviso in there to provide actual support for the Jedi in the field; I’ll make sure to get a legal team on viper in the grass duty as soon as the responses start coming out.”

“Thank you,” Padme said, gripping Mon’s hand over-tightly in return. She turned to the Alderannian senator. “I’m sorry Bail, I know you two are close.”

Bail exhaled slowly. “This war...I’ve seen Obi-Wan survive so much, and everytime he pulls off the impossible...”

“He’s rewarded with another burden on his shoulders,” Padme finished sympathetically. “Yes, I’ve been watching the same thing happen to Anakin. It’s—if the separatist movement hadn’t resolved into such a democratic and humanitarian nightmare—”

“You should go home and get some rest, Padme,” Mon urged. “It’s late, and the we’re all going to need to be sharp tomorrow. Who knows, maybe some new information will materialize before the afternoon.”

“Why Mon, that’s almost optimistic of you,” Bail remarked dryly.

Mon flashed him a wry grin, looking at Padme out of the corner of her eye. “Well. She did say Anakin with AWOL—”

“Oh do be quiet,” Padme huffed.

Despite the ever growing desire for sleep, it was another long hour before the Senator from Naboo departed. The pair were just turning to their seats after escorting Padme out when Bail let out a startled yelp; Mon instinctively kicked at the sudden small green blur.

Fortunately, when you’re green and the height of most humanoid’s knees, you become quite experienced at avoiding such reflexive 

“Master Yoda! What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” Senator Mothma staggered backwards, reverting to defensiveness to cover up her embarrassment at attempting to punt the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.

“Has his ways, a Jedi does,” Yoda replied mysteriously. Mon Mothma nodded seriously as Bail restrained himself from rolling his eyes. He had spent far too much time around Obi-Wan for deliberate Jedi vagueness to hold much weight. 

“Can I—May I offer you a seat?” Mon asked, quickly recovering her diplomatic grace. “I’m afraid that you’ve just missed Senator Amidala, but I’m sure she would be eager to return; I understand she’s...concerned for Master Kenobi.”

The wizened Master shook his head, ears flopping as he hopped onto Padme’s recently vacated chair, standing on the cusioned seat as the two senators’ settled down. The sight should, perhaps, have been comical. But the weight of his gaze...Bail held his breath. Perhaps Jedi mystique did still have some affect on him.

“Come to speak with the two of you, I did. Missed Mistress Amidala, I have, I know. Deliberate, this was.”

Mon and Bail frowned, exchanging a slow look of pointed disapproval. Bail spoke hesitantly but with touch of reproach. “I’m certain she would prefer to be here, regardless of the news—Padme has suffered for her public defense of the Jedi, I should hope that that friendship is returned, especially in hard times”

Yoda’s ears drooped. “A great Jedi, she would have made, in another life. Vibrant, she is in the Force. Loud to a Jedi, regardless of sensitivity. But needed now, quiet is.” 

Yoda’s gaze pierced Bail and he warmed inexplicably. “Quiet the two of you are. Brilliant, wide but in the Force...” Yoda broke the gaze, growing contemplative.

“Unique in the force, each soul is. That can be read, rare is the mind. More difficult to discern, currents, intentions, manner, it is with some, it is with you. And now, Quiet we need.”

The two settled back, uneasily flattered. “Master Yoda—it’s an honor of course, to be considered an individual worthy of confidence, but why exactly do you have need of quiet minds? Of us?” Senator Mothma asked finally.

The diminutive Master sagged. “By actions you would do, trust you have earned. But always in motion, the future is. A heavy burden, to carry, I must ask you. Without cause, I would not ask. But once tell you this I do—” 

To the politicians shock Master Yoda’s simmed to glisten with unshed tears. “—Guarantee your safety I cannot.”

The air hung warm and heavy for a timeless moment and a chill ran up both their spines. But neither were individuals particularly given to indesicion in the face of looming danger. 

“How can we help?” Mon asked, the words echoing over far more than an hour. 

“We know something is wrong with Obi-Wan,” Bail added softly. “Whatever we can do to right it—Obi-Wan is a friend, the Jedi are our allies, and the Republic is our duty.”

Mon nodded firmly.

Yoda stared at them each in turn, eyes searching and ancient.

“Working with the Separatists, the Chancellor is,” he said bluntly. “Evidence of this, we have, but not proof. Controlling, the Separatists, the Chancellor is. Evidence of this we have also, but not proof. The truth it is.”

“Evidence?” Bail parroted hoarsely, mentally assembling his own grim circumstantial coronation even as his understanding of the conversation’s direction fell apart.

The Jedi Master drew two small glittering objects from his pocket—a datachip and a microslide. 

“In the brain of a trooper, this we found.” he said gravely. “In the brain of all clones, this lies. Orders, it contains. Evil, is it. Free will, it can control. Decode it we have. To the Chancellor, tied these orders are.”

“Force,” Mon murmured in horror, responding automatically. “He already controls the public, and the courts—”

“And over half the senate,” Bail added bitterly.

“A Sith, he is,” Yoda continued with a sigh. “A Sith he has always been. A return to an Empire, he aims.”

There was a long heady pause as the two grappled with the return of the ancient boogeyman of the Republic and the repeated derailing of their night’s direction. 

“Fuck,” Senator Mothma said delicately, thinking wistfully of two hours ago when she had planned on confronting Padme yet again on her relationship with a young Jedi.

“Said the same, did we.”

The Alderannian Senator rubbed his temples, trying to come to terms with consecutive massive shocks from the already unexpected conversation. “Is Obi-Wan alright?” he asked eventually.

The small Elder hummed thoughtfully in reply. Bail tensed.

“No and yes. Suffer much, he has. Broken he is, but not shattered. A plan he has. His idea to include you, it is. The bravest man in the galaxy, he called you.” Yoda said, offering Senator Organa a sad smile.

Bail leaned back, stunned. “Me? But—why me?” he asked bewildered.

“Know not, I do,” the Jedi said with a shrug. “Seen the future, he has. A future where saved his life, you did. Saved my life. Saved something too precious to name, you did. Matters little, it does. A future that must not come to pass, it is, even as learn from it. we do.”

“...I think you’re going to have to explain that somewhat,” Mon replied sternly as Bail’s head spun.

Yoda nodded and the three settled in for a sleepless night of planning treason.

Part XXIV

[the-desolated-quill]

WandaVision: ‘Subverting’ Good Television - Quill’s Scribbles

(Spoilers for the first five episodes)

Hey everyone! Well... it’s been a while, hasn’t it? The last time I wrote a proper review or Scribble, people still thought the COVID crisis would be over within a month. The poor saps. But I thought that as a special way to mark this year’s Valentines Day, we could take a closer look at the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s shittiest power couple in their new Disney+ show WandaVision.

The first of many MCU spin-off shows that nobody asked for, broadcast exclusively on Disney’s totally unnecessary streaming platform, WandaVision is about everybody’s favourite whitewashed Nazi experiment and her red sexbot boyfriend as they try to fit into a suburban sitcom neighbourhood without arousing suspicion.

Yes, you read that correctly. The MCU has a sitcom now. My life is now complete.

Sarcasm aside, I was legitimately curious about WandaVision because of its unusual setting. And considering one of my most common criticisms of the MCU is its total lack of creativity, anything that’s even a little bit subversive is bound to attract my attention. Of course ‘subversive’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘good.’ I could hand you a canvas smeared with my own shit and call it subversive. That doesn’t necessarily make it good art. And that’s exactly what WandaVision is. A canvas smeared with shit.

So lets split this critical analysis/review/angry bitter rant into two distinct chapters. The first focusing on the plot and setting, and the second focusing on the characters. Okay? Okay.

Chapter 1: Bewitched

Critics seem to be utterly enamoured with the whole sitcom gimmick, and it is a gimmick. As far as I can tell from the episodes I’ve seen, the sitcom setting serves no real purpose whatsoever other than to make the show ‘quirky.’ Which I wouldn’t mind, believe it or not, if the show was actually funny. There’s just one problem. It’s not.

Now in some ways describing why a sitcom doesn’t work is often futile because comedy is largely subjective. What I find funny, you won’t necessarily find funny and vice versa. With WandaVision, however, I won’t have that problem. I can demonstrate to you precisely why WandaVision, objectively, isn’t funny. And it all comes down to one simple thing. The stakes. Or rather the complete and total absence of stakes.

The show makes it very clear from the beginning that none of what we’re seeing is real. The cheesy theme song, the era appropriate special effects (mostly. It’s actually very inconsistent), the joke commercials, and, in the case of the first two episodes, which are in black and white, the appearance of red lights and objects in Scarlet Witch’s general vicinity. (Gee, what a mystery this is).

Basically Wanda has brought Vision back from the dead and created this sitcom world for them to inhabit. I’ll explain the stupidity of this in Chapter 2. The point is none of this is real, and that has a negative effect on the comedy because the very nature of comedy is suffering. Take the plot of the first episode. Wanda and Vision have to prepare a dinner to impress Vision’s boss. If they fail, Vision could lose his job and the couple could be exposed as superheroes. If this were a normal sitcom, it would work. The stakes are clear and it would be satisfying to see the two struggle and overcome the odds. But here, we know it’s not real. If it’s not real, it means there’s no stakes. If there’s no stakes, it means there’s no suffering. If there’s no suffering, there’s no comedy.

It would be one thing if the unfunny sitcom stuff lasted for like the first ten minutes or so before making way for the actual plot, but it doesn’t. Oh no. It doesn’t even last for the first episode. Out of the five episodes I’ve watched, four of them are almost entirely about these unfunny, objectively flawed sitcom homages, each set in a different time period. The fifties, the sixties, and so on. And what’s worse is that nothing that happens in them is plot-relevant. That gets relegated to the last five minutes of an episode. So you’re forced to sit through twenty five minutes of boring slapstick and puns in order to catch even a whiff of actual story. Which begs the question... who is this for exactly? It can’t be entertaining to Marvel fans, who have to slog through all this pointless shit so they can figure out what the fuck is going on. Comedy fans may get a kick out of the sitcom pastiche at first, but after four episodes, surely the joke would wear thin. So why is it in here? Clearly someone in the writer’s room absolutely fell in love with the idea of doing a Marvel sitcom, but nobody put in any time or effort to figure out how it would work in context.

I cannot stress enough how bad the plotting of this series is. As I said, the vast majority of a thirty minute episode is about shitty sitcom plots that aren’t funny and don’t have any impact on the story, only to then tease you with a crumb of actual plot in order to keep you coming back for the next instalment. Admittedly it’s an effective strategy. I was more than ready to quit after Episode 2 until that beekeeper showed up out of the sewer (don’t ask. It’s not important). WandaVision essentially follows the Steven Moffat school of bad writing. String your audience along with the promise that things might get more interesting later on and that all the bullshit that came before will retroactively make sense by the end. Except, as demonstrated with BBC’s Sherlock, that doesn’t work. And even if it did, it wouldn’t justify wasting the audience’s fucking time. And that’s what the majority of WandaVision is. A waste of time.

The only episode that doesn’t follow the sitcom format is the fourth episode. Instead it basically exists to explain all the shit that happened before. The shit that the audience, frankly, are smart enough to figure out for themselves. Wanda created the sitcom world as a way of coping with the loss of Vision, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, we got it. Thanks. It doesn’t advance the plot or anything. It’s just a massive info-dump. But by far the lowest point was when Darcy (by far the most annoying character in the first Thor film and is just as obnoxious here) was sat in front of the TV, watching the sitcom and asking the same questions we were. Not even attempting to look for answers. Just reiterating what the audience is thinking. Like this is an episode of fucking Gogglebox.

In the end it becomes apparent why the series is structured the way that it is. It’s to hoodwink people into subscribing to Disney’s stupid streaming service. If you think about it, there was no reason for WandaVision to be a TV series other than to lure gullible fans in with a piece-meal story buried in a mountain of crap. This isn’t a TV show. It’s what is cynically known in the world of big business executives as ‘content.’ They’re not interested in entertaining the audience. Instead they crave ‘engagement’, which isn’t the same thing. Watching WandaVision is like staring into the void, waiting for something to happen, while Disney charge you for the privilege.

Chapter 2: I Love Lucy

So the plot sucks balls. What about the characters? Surely if Wanda and Vision are likeable at least, it’ll give us something to cling onto.

Well as I was watching the first episode, it suddenly hit me that I couldn’t remember anything that happened to them in previous films. I knew Vision died, but other than that, I couldn’t tell you significant plot details or their personalities or anything. Not a great start.

See, up until now, Vision and Scarlet Witch have been little more than background characters. So already there’s an uphill struggle to get us invested in their relationship, especially considering we haven’t actually seen that relationship develop. In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Scarlet Witch is killing people because she’s pissed off about Tony Stark killing people (you work that one out) until all of a sudden she stops and joins the good guys because the script said so. Vision meanwhile is introduced as a convenient deus ex machina to beat Ultron and gets no real personality other than he’s a robot. Captain America: Civil War comes the closest to giving Wanda a story and personality of her own as it’s her actions that cause the Sokovia Accords to come into effect, but she never gets any real growth or payoff as the film is heavily focused on Cap and Iron Man’s penis measuring contest. And as for Vision, all he does in the film is accidentally cripple War Machine. No real character or arc there as such. And then we have Avengers: Infinity War, where Wanda and Vision are now sporadically in love and on the run until that pesky Josh Brolin, looking like a CGI cross between Joss Whedon and a grumpy grape, comes along and rips out Vision’s Infinity Stone to power up his golden glove of doom, and the film treats this like a tragic moment, except... it isn’t. Because we haven’t really had the time to properly get to know these characters and see their romance blossom. So instead it just comes off as hollow and forced.

WandaVision has the exact same problem. Apparently Wanda was so distraught about Vision’s death that she broke into a SWORD base, stole his corpse, brought it back from the dead... somehow, and then enslaved an entire town of people to create an idyllic lifestyle for her and her hubby while broadcasting it as a sitcom to the outside world... for some reason. Putting aside the dubious morality of it all, it’s impossible to really sympathise with Wanda or her supposed grief because we’ve barely spent any time with her. Had the Marvel movies taken the time to properly explore the characters and show us their relationship grow and develop, this might have had more emotional resonance. But no, it just happens. In one film they barely speak to each other and in the next they’re a couple. No effort to explore how they feel about each other or any of the problems that may arise trying to date a robot. It just happens and we’re just supposed to care. Well I’m sorry, but I don’t care. You’re going to have to try a little bit harder than that I’m afraid. What’s worse is that, thanks to the whole fake sitcom thing, it’s impossible to really become invested in Wanda and her plight because the show has to constantly keep us at arms length at all times in order to keep up the pretence that this bullshit is somehow mysterious.

Looking through the WandaVision tag, it amuses me how many people say that she’s acting out of character. And yeah, her actions are a bit of a head scratcher. Why would an Eastern European’s ideal life be an American sitcom? Why a sitcom? Why kidnap an entire town? Why keep changing the decade? None of it makes sense, but you’re wrong for thinking that Wanda is behaving out of character for the simple reason that Wanda has never actually had a character. In fact, ironically, Wanda mind controlling an entire town and forcing them to do her bidding is probably the one consistent thing about her as she did this in Age Of Ultron. In interviews, Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany described how they used actors like Elizabeth Montgomery and Dick Van Dyke as influences, which is really funny because they’re straight up admitting they don’t have characters and even now they’re still not playing the characters, instead emulating the work of far better actors.

As I was watching the show, it became abundantly clear that not only do Marvel not have the faintest idea what they wanted to do with these characters, but they also straight up don’t give a shit about these characters. Wanda in particular has had a rough time under the tyrannical regime of the House of Mouse. First they cast Elizabeth Olsen, a white woman, to play a Romani character, then systematically erasing her Jewish roots, even going so far as to put a cross in her bedroom in Civil War, and now the character is being butchered even more by forcing her into an American sitcom housewife role that she apparently willingly chose for herself, which is laughable. I mean say what you like about Magneto in the X-Men films, at least they actually depicted his Jewish culture. At least they recognised his Jewish background was important (though not important enough to cast a Jewish actor apparently). Wanda’s steady cultural erasure over the years is incredibly insidious and judging by Olsen’s comments in interviews, where she called Wanda’s comic book outfit a quote ‘gypsy thing’ unquote, it seems nobody has an ounce of fucking respect for the character or the culture she’s supposed to be representing. (and to all those kissing her arse saying it was a slip of the tongue, she has been repeatedly called out for using the slur in the past, so at this point I’d describe her behaviour as wilful ignorance)

If you want further proof of how much Marvel doesn’t seem to care about Wanda, look no further than her brother Pietro, aka Quicksilver. At the end of Episode 5, Wanda brings Pietro back from the dead, except it’s not Pietro. It’s Peter Maximoff, the Quicksilver from the X-Men films played by Peter Evans, who coincidentally is not Jewish or Romani either. So Quicksilver has the dubious honour of not only being whitewashed three times, but also twice within the same franchise. But should we really be surprised at this point? It’s Marvel after all. The same company that whitewashed the Ancient One in Doctor Yellowface and claimed it wasn’t racist because Tilda Swinton is ‘Celtic’. But now I’m going off topic. My point is that this isn’t a simple case of recasting an actor like Mark Ruffalo replacing Edward Norton as the Hulk. WandaVision actually acknowledges the recast in-universe, which makes no sense. Why would Wanda bring back her brother, only to make him look like a different person? We the audience may be familiar with this version of Quicksilver, but she isn’t. That would be like me bringing my Grandad back to life and making him look like Ian McKellen. He’d be perfectly charming, I’m sure, but he wouldn’t be my Grandad. 

If Marvel really cared about the characters or narrative consistency, they would have brought Aaron Taylor Johnson back. Instead, now they have absorbed 20th Century Fox into the hellish Disney abyss, they use X-Men’s Quicksilver as a means to keep viewers from switching off and so that people will write stupid articles and think pieces about whether the rest of the X-Men will show up in the MCU. It’s like dangling your keys in front of a toddler’s face to distract them from the rotting corpse of a raccoon lying face down in the corner of the room.

And it’s here where I decided to stop watching the show because fuck Disney.

Epilogue: One Foot In The Grave

You know, I am sick and tired of the so called ‘professional’ critics bending over backwards to praise these god awful films and shows when it’s so clear to anyone with a functioning brain cell how bad they truly are. WandaVision is without a doubt one of the most cynically produced and poorly structured TV shows I’ve ever seen. Its riffs on classic sitcoms are pointless and self-indulgent, the writing is terrible, the characters are unlikable and unsympathetic, and it’s entirely emblematic of what the entire MCU has become of late. And it’s only going to get worse as Disney drowns us with more ‘content’ to keep the plebs ‘engaged’. In short; pathetic.

[mc-lukanette]

- Luka sees the bees coming and warns Marinette. Marinette pushes him, demanding that he get on his bike and go. Luka hesitates because she's basically asking him to leave her, but Marinette asks, "Do you trust me?" which Luka does and bikes away while she runs in the opposite direction.

- Meanwhile, Adrien and Kagami's kiss goes through. They both see the bees and, similar to Luka and Marinette, head off in different directions.

- Both Aqua Ladybug and Aqua Chat Noir re-find Luka and Kagami, then bring them into the water/have them jump in and give them the breathing apparatuses.

- They go to the battle taking place with Miracle Queen. The only difference in the Miracle Queen scene is that Luka and Kagami aren't there and Nino also looked up at Master Fu when he was told to get his miraculous, making his identity as Carapace obvious (that was always weird to me in the episode how Nino didn’t really do that).

- Ladybug still feels like this is all her fault. Luka and Kagami can't offer verbal help, but Chat helps and Luka+Kagami place reassuring hands on each of her shoulders.

- Ladybug devises a strategy. She pulls out the dragon, asking Kagami to help one more time because she has an idea.

- Cut to Miracle Queen. Out of nowhere, they hear, "WIND DRAGON!" and the bees are thrown a massive distance away. Miracle Queen clutches the Miracle Box for protection and we see the snake disappear from its slot. When everyone starts looking around, Miracle Queen notices that Max isn't Pegase anymore.

- Hawk Moth is shocked, then hears a sound coming from inside Fu's Shell-ter. Aqua Horse-Chat pokes his head through with a Cheshire grin. "Don't mind me. I'm just here to pick up my grandfather." Fu grabs Chat's hand and Chat pulls him inside.

- With everyone still in the water (Fu holding his breath), Ladybug gives Fu a hug and explains that they'll need Shell-ter since Ryu Kenshi (the new Ryuko, decked out in a new outfit to protect her identity: "kenshi" is the word for a practicer of kendo but it can also mean "swordsman"/”swordswoman”) can't use Wind Dragon again. However, Fu slips off the turtle bracelet and hands it over to Ladybug, metaphorically symbolizing the future transfer of guardianship.

- Everyone leaps out of the water, Chat carrying Fu. The aqua transformations drop. Luka transforms into Viperion. Ladybug feeds Wayzz with a macaron and has him unify with Tikki.

- They land on the battlefield. The bees charge forward and the butterfly sentimonster gets into the fray (due to no longer having Fu's shield to break into). Turtle Bug (that's apparently the naming theme so why should I bother? :P) smirks at Hawk Moth, then uses a combination of Shell-ter and ladybug to make a large pink shield that seems to have the spinning effect that the yoyo shield does, making it hard to peer inside.

- Hawk Moth shouts to get the guardian, Miracle Queen chiming in with, "YEAH, WHAT HE SAID."

- Fight ensues. It's Rena Rouge, Roi Singe, and the butterfly sentimonster (technically Nino and Max too but--well--you can imagine how useful that is) against Turtle Bug, Chat Noir, Viperion, and Ryu Kenshi. Fu is a distraction of sorts since the mind-controlled heroes want to get the guardian.

- It’s also the most even team Chat Noir will ever be on since he knows both Kagami and Luka’s hero identities, which is a nice bonus for him.

- Similar scenario happens to before (the set-up using Roi Singe), but there's more tension because one single part of the shield can't be opened like in the original. The shield is dropped, the bees charge forward, but Chat gets Roi Singe to throw the power-disruptor at Miracle Queen (who's been comically circling the shield this whole time, trying to figure out what's going on). The bees explode into confetti, Turtle Bug pulls Miracle Queen in, and Chat Cataclysms her object.

- (note that Miracle Queen could also have been participating in the fight provided that she can't summon her bee minions)

- Since she's already used Shell-ter and doesn't need it anymore, Turtle Bug dismisses Wayzz. Same happens as in the episode where Ladybug tries to convince Queen Bee not to be on Hawk Moth's side and Queen Bee, in response, starts throwing on miraculouses. Fu shouts at her not to do that, but she's not listening. The butterfly sentimonster (worn down from the fight but still able to move) tries to attack again, but Ladybug ties it up with her yoyo.

- Hawk Moth is confident with Queen Bee throwing on the miraculouses, but same thing happens where the kwami won't transform Chloe since she doesn't know their names. Fu makes a speech about how you can't get a miraculous you feel entitled to. Hawk Moth comments on how he's still going to win and force Fu to tell him the heroes' identities.

- Ladybug smiles, pointing up at him. "Really? Because Ryu Kenshi looks ready to fight you up there."

- Hawk Moth and Mayura turn around to see Ryu Kenshi (yeah, really should’ve thought about the whole “being on an unprotected roof when the superheroes can jump” thing), who's grinning at them. They pale and Ryu Kenshi uses Lightning Dragon to zap them, knocking them off the rooftop. The butterfly sentimonster reacts and frees itself from Ladybug's yoyo, catching the two and immediately flying off. Ryu Kenshi, angered by the retreat, starts to shout for Wind Dragon before remembering that she's already used it. She and Chat go off to see if they can catch the villains.

- Queen Bee tries to escape with the Miracle Box. Ladybug gets her with her yoyo and Queen Bee falls over, dropping the box. Master Fu walks over and picks it up gently, giving Queen Bee a critical look as Queen Bee rants about how the miraculouses are rightfully hers.

- "I'M Queen Bee, I'M the rightful owner of that box, and I--" Suddenly, the de-transformation light washes over her. She turns around, seeing Viperion holding the bee miraculous with a Did you seriously forget I was here? expression.

- Chloe is enraged, flipping out as she removes all the miraculouses and tosses them to the ground since she's surrounded now. Viperion and Fu are in the process of picking them up (absolutely ignoring her like this is just a typical Monday) while Chloe rants to Ladybug about how she betrayed her.

- Chloe leaves in a huff. Ryu Kenshi and Chat Noir return, disappointed that they couldn't catch Hawk Moth or Mayura. Ladybug uses Lucky Charm to prepare to use Miraculous Ladybug, summoning the key ring that she does in the original. Fu recognizes it and admits that, even though she may have made a mistake, she couldn’t have predicted Hawk Moth following her and he would've seen her identity had she gone to de-transform. He adds that this is also partly on him as well; he took far too long to start training "his protege" (being vague about who that is because the other heroes are here) and he clung to the Miracle Box because of it. Though, he adds solemnly that Hawk Moth has the tablet with the translated grimoire. Ladybug gasps, but Fu assures her that he still has his phone (the thing he used to take pictures of the grimoire pages in "The Collector"), and he can easily translate the pages over again since he's already done it once.

- Ladybug uses Miraculous Ladybug and everyone parts after Viperion and Ryu Kenshi give back the miraculouses. Fu stops Ladybug from leaving and simply states that it's time he pass on the guardianship to her. He hesitantly goes to recite the phrase, but Ladybug stops him and reminds him that he already changed the "dumb guardian rules" in order to teach her, so why can't they do that here? They then smile at each other and Fu hands over the box, promising to send Ladybug the translated grimoire over text.

- Fu still goes off with Marianne, the two promising to go back into hiding together just in case Hawk Moth thinks to go after them. Marinette is a little sad to see them go, but Fu assures her that she can call him if she needs anything. He also gives her the non-Lucky Charm version of the key, assuring her that everything she needs (like the thing he used to hide the Miracle Box in, though Marinette would repurpose/repaint it to fit her room and look stylish) is in the locker that the key fits into.

- Same scene with the ice cream happens, but while Luka still plays his song, Marinette is considering the stuff Fu wrote in the letter in the locker (it's still all philosophical and stuff even though no memory wipe ended up being needed) and Fu had noted that the burden Marinette carries is heavier than ever now and she shouldn't be afraid to rely on others should she need it (you know, like he should’ve).

- Finally, Marinette looks over to Luka and says, "Luka, do you remember what you said to me when you were--" She blushes lightly at the memory of them hugging. "--you know?" He nods, and she pauses before adding, "I do actually have something to tell you."

- The next scene is Marinette taking Luka into her room and revealing the location of the new Miracle Box, signifying that Luka is essentially Marinette's confidant now.

- Cut to Gabriel with the fixed peacock miraculous for tension and the episode ends.

[vivisextion]

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

[feralaot]

how'd the aot characters be like when drunk? i've once read a hc about this topic would like to hear it from you too! keep up the good work btw i love your blog!

ahh tysm lovely anon! I like this idea :) 

AOT characters + how they act when drunk 

warnings: alcohol, mentions of vomit, hangovers

season 4 time, all characters are adults

eren

he can put back more than most, but is a massive angry drunk when he gets there. his voice gets louder and his face redder with every sip he takes. very high likelihood of getting into a fistfight, especially with jean if he’s unlucky enough to be in the vicinity. will probably spend the next morning vomiting and mikasa has to be there the whole time to make sure he doesn’t pass out with his face in a toilet

mikasa

doesn’t drink much because she pretty much has to act as eren’s wrangler for when he’s drunk. HOWEVER when she does drink she doesn’t drink a lot because it gives her killer headaches and she gets very touch averse. if someone so much as brushes against her she’ll lose her mind

armin

do not, under any circumstance, let armin have alcohol. he’s the biggest lightweight, a featherweight, if you will. two shots and he’s already an emotional mess going on long rants about how beautiful nature is and how precious his friends are to him

connie and sasha

these chaotic little disasters are a two for one deal. they only ever drink when they’re together because it’s “a lot more fun” and by fun they’re probably going to try communicating with animals and/or inanimate objects. jean is the responsible one and always puts away sharp objects or things that could possibly be used as weapons because at some point sasha will inevitably attempt to demonstrate “hunting methods”

jean

though he’s usually the semi responsible one and helps connie and sasha recover from hangovers, when he’s the drunk one he is BOUND to get everyone in trouble. tries to fight people, starts incoherent arguments, and by the end of the night he’s the one most likely to be arrested

historia

so so emotional. she’ll see a flower and start crying about how beautiful it is. she uses her small size to her advantage and curls up in places ymir can’t reach, just becomes completely feral. giggly as all hell and asks so many questions bc her brain cells are just absolutely buzzing

ymir

really cocky and really flirty. compliments historia and her friends endlessly, going off about how great they are and how much she appreciates them, but THEN she’ll turn around and completely flame someone. everything she thinks about them is made very clear. doesn’t start fights herself but will ABSOLUTELY stand her ground. drunk eren tries to fight drunk ymir and he gets his shit wrecked

reiner

it depends. usually he’ll just be sprawled out on the couch completely dead to the world. a heap of misery. on bad days he’ll start rambling to people about his emotions (despite them not asking) then proceeds to deny it ever happened by the time he’s conscious again. gets very touchy and will cling onto bertholdt like a monkey while he drags him around because he literally will not let go. he gets really really hungry too and would probably eat an entire block of cheese by himself should he happen to get his hands on one

bertholdt

so sweet and kind, barely different personality-wise to his sober self. he doesn’t drink much himself but will have beers with reiner sometimes. despite not knowing what the hell is going on he’ll sit and listen intently to someone talking even though he can’t really understand, then proceed to compliment them on how smart they are and probably give them hugs against their will. as you can probably guess, this is usually reiner. he manages to fall asleep in really strange places while drunk. examples: squished into a closet, wedged between the fridge and the wall, etc. somehow his drunk self finds this comfortable

annie

threatens to fight people but won’t actually do it unless she’s really angry for whatever reason. might just curl up on the couch and completely zone out, dead to the world, barely processing what’s going on around her. usually she refuses to move so it’s pretty normal for armin to have to pick her up and place her somewhere to recover. she’s the responsible one in the trio while sober however and will babysit bertholdt and reiner while they’re crying and holding each other or something

levi, erwin, and hange

neither levi or erwin get drunk drunk but will have glasses of wine together while gossiping about other scouts. meanwhile, hange is collapsed somewhere, probably face down in a potted plant. eventually levi and erwin have to flip a coin to decide which one of them is gonna be the one to drag hange out of their predicament and place them somewhere a little more comfortable where they can sleep. hange is barely conscious but laughing really loudly the whole time

porco and pieck

they really don’t like drinking, porco because he doesn’t want to do something he regrets and pieck because she doesn’t want to embarrass herself. and, of course, neither of them want to have to deal with the pain afterwards. HOWEVER if porco were to drink he would be 1. really fucking rude and probably mad at people for nothing and 2. sleepy as hell. literally just... he yells at someone and curses them out then goes straight to bed. he sleeps in weird positions while intoxicated and will somehow be sleeping peacefully while contorted like a cat. pieck on the other hand would be 1. very affectionate and kind and 2. somehow completely feral at the same time. she can’t stand on two legs while drunk and will often be laying on the ground just dead to the world (and sometimes people do actually check if she’s still alive)

zeke

I feel like he’s always at least slightly intoxicated. would probably hide a bottle of whiskey in an absolutely-not-conspicuous paper bag and write “work documents” on the outside of it with a marker. he’s very deadpan and monotone so his drunkenness could be mistaken for indifference. unfortunately he has the alcohol tolerance of a tank so it takes a lot for him to get pass-out-on-the-ground drunk. he also gets REALLY hungry so the other warriors have to hide their lunches from him because he will absolutely consume everything in his path

yelena

is probably very quiet and kind of just stands there like some kind of cryptid. will just linger and watch people. would probably try to hide herself behind a lamp post but, of course, everyone can see her. she refuses to believe that she can be seen however and despite being fucking huge she thinks she’s a master at hiding. has swan dived into a bush to “hide” on more than one occassion